I was reading from Lao-tzu’s Tao Te Ching last night when I ran across an interesting quote:

He who knows others is wise;
He who knows himself is enlightened.

The passage made me stop and contemplate my own life. How well do I know myself? I went down that path for a bit of time; looking at my aspects and considering what I might be blind about.

Naturally, I soon turned to business. I thought about how much of marketing is focused on the consumer or the client. I wondered what I might learn about my business if I applied Lao-tzu’s words to marketing. So I rewrote the passage to say:

He who knows his customer is wise;
But he who knows his business is enlightened.

Then I started thinking about my clients, my colleagues, my friends, etc. How many of them really know what they do? I don’t mean can they explain their business in some marketing lingo that drives sales. I’m talking about do they understand what they REALLY do for their clients? What impact do they make?

For instance, I’m a web developer, a marketing coach, a business advisor and a strategist. I help my clients understand how to use the internet to reach their business goals. Pretty simple.

But if I think about the client’s I’ve worked with over the past year, it’s evident that I have a much broader and deeper impact on my client’s life than I first think about. While I certainly help them build their website, clarify their marketing message or build a campaign, I also help them create space in their lives for their business. As well, I help them overcome their fears and uncertainties about using the web, and I educate them in how to measure their success. What’s more, I teach them anything they really need or want to know about using the web to grow their business.

But it doesn’t stop there. Most of my clients and I also develop a strong bond; a working relationship that seems to increase their trust in themselves. They know, for instance, they’re not doing this alone in their process. I also freely share my idea, concepts, vision and excitement about their business – something that often motivates them to get the next bit of work done.

When I think about it, I do far more than just develop web-based businesses. I have an impact on my client’s lives. And I need to remember that in my business. Perhaps even explore that more and understand how I can express more of what I offer my clients. And maybe, just maybe, I can find more of the light in my business.

So what about you? How well do you know what you do? How much do you understand the impact you have on your clients or customers? How enlightened are you in your business?

Do a Google search for click here. What you’ll find is around 1.7 billion (yes billion) instances in Google’s database where website owners have used “click here” as linked text on their website. Let me guess, that includes you, right?

But click here is seldom the best option for linked text. Take a look at these two examples:

To find out more about how I can help you grow your business, click here.

or

Find out more about how I can help you grow your business.

Which link tells you, as the site’s visitor, where you’ll go when you click the link? Isn’t it clearer in the second example that the link will lead you to how I can help you grow your business?

This may seem like splitting hairs a bit. But really, it’s not. There are a number of reasons to use descriptive linked text rather than click here. Here’s a few:

• Clarity – Descriptive linked text makes it much clearer where the link will you while click here basically just offers the command – click here. There’s no real clarity of why you’d click here or where you’ll end up.
• Scannable – If you scan most website pages, the links will stand out. They’re usually colored and styled differently than the text around them. So when you use descriptive linked text your visitors can scan your page for where they’d like to go next. Click here simply doesn’t offer the same advantage.
• SEO – If you care the least bit about search engine optimization, and you should, adding keywords in the links is one method of optimizing your text for search engines. Think about the 1.7 billion instances on websites that are using click here. Is that really what they’re hoping to rank for?
• Usability – As a big fan of the ‘don’t make me think’ principle of website design, I don’t want my users to have to interpret, guess or consider where my links will lead them. And that’s exactly what click here does – forces my visitors to think.
• Accessibility – Remember, not all your visitors will be using beautiful, graphics browsers to view your site. Some will use braille, aural or text browsers. Think about how visitors that are blind or have reading disabilities will use your site. Asking them to ‘click here’ gives them no idea where they’re going to end up.
• Readability – Isn’t it simply nicer to read content where the links have been crafted into the content rather than breaking it up with the old click here?
• Printability - More people print out your web pages than you might realize. Click here just doesn’t mean anything on a printed page and often breaks up the flow of text.

That said, you can use whatever linking strategies you like. Sometimes you can get higher response rates by directing people to click on a link. I suggest, however, not making a habit out of it. Use terms like ‘click to continue’ or ‘read on’ sparingly and only when you really need too. Otherwise, let your visitors know where they’re heading when then select a link.

So, how are you using click here. And what’s your overall in content link strategy?

(note: image from ovizo0n on Flickr,  some rights reserved)

What is your business about?

Is it about branding and marketing? I’m sure it is. Is your business about sales and profits? I sure hope so. And is it about making some difference in the world? Ideally, that would be nice.

But branding, marketing, sales and making a difference require one thing – relationships. Ultimately, business is about relationships. Doesn’t matter whether you’re selling products or pitching services, ultimately people buy because they trust you. And trust comes from developing a relationship – even if that relationship is built from content on your website.

Whenever I work in my business, make plans etc, I always think about people. I remember that it’s people that I’m doing business with not some segment of niche market (though I may use the terms). And I remember that my own clients hire not my business, but me; they hire me. While they may like, want or need what I know or can teach them, ultimately they’re working with me because of the relationship we’ve built – and are building.

Solid businesses, especially independent and small businesses are built on relationships.

That’s always been the case and it will continue to be the case going forward. Which is why I’m such a big fan of the Cluetrain Manifesto. Sure, Cluetrain’s been around a while. Yeah, many others have said the same things – perhaps even better – since. But I still like the original. I like the way it’s put together. I like that it can be definitive and yet explorative at the same time.

For me, Cluetrain remains the quintessential work on how businesses are relationships and markets are conversations. Probably my favorite section is a piece written by Doc Searls where he describes a conversation he had with a Nigerian Pastor named Sayo:

…After hearing (about ‘markets are conversations’), he acknowledged that our observations were astute, but also incomplete. Something more was going on in markets than just transactions and conversations, he said. What was it?

I said I didn’t know. Here is the dialogue that followed, as close to verbatim as I can recall it…

“Pretend this is a garment”, Sayo said, picking up one of those blue airplane pillows. “Let’s say you see it for sale in a public market in my country, and you are interested in buying it. What is your first question to the seller?”

“What does it cost?” I said.

“Yes”, he answered. “You would ask that. Let’s say he says, ‘Fifty dollars’. What happens next?”

“If I want the garment, I bargain with him until we reach an agreeable price.”

“Good. Now let’s say you know something about textiles. And the two of you get into a long conversation where both of you learn much from each other. You learn about the origin of the garment, the yarn used, the dyes, the name of the artist, and so on. He learns about how fabric is made in your country, how distribution works, and so on. In the course of this you get to know each other. What happens to the price?”

“Maybe I want to pay him more and he wants to charge me less”.

“Yes. And why is that?”

“I’m not sure.”

“You now have a relationship”.

Their conversation goes on to talk about the importance of relationship in public markets. ”Transaction still matters, of course. So does conversation. But the biggest slice in the social pie of the public marketplace is relationship. Price is less set than found, and the context for finding prices is both conversation and relationship. In many cases, relationship is the primary concern, not price.”

In essence, price matters – but not as much as relationships. Just think about the recent purchases you’ve made. How often was it just about price and how often did you pay a little bit more because you had established a relationship with the seller? Branding, marketing, selling and good will all have their foundations in relationships.

So in creating your business, in running your business and in marketing your business, why not make it about relationships first? Sure, you absolutely need to know who you are, what you do, why do it and who you do it for. But once you know that, the rest is about building relationships. And relationships begin with conversation. And now, we’re back to using your website, your email list, social media and search engines to get into the conversation. This is where successful businesses are built.

What specifically are you doing to build relationships in your business? How do you nurture your current and post clients? And how to you build those relationships with prospective clients?

Let’s talk about it.

(note: image from dbarronoss on Flickr,  some rights reserved)

You’d probably agree with me that it’s certainly not wise to hurt your customers or potential customers. That seems pretty clear, doesn’t it?

But what about the people you work with or who work for you? Is it okay – is it appropriate – to hurt, abuse or cause your staff, peers or partners to suffer simply because they work with you?

Hopefully we all know the answer to this question as well. That’s why I’m a bit perplexed this morning from an email I got yesterday. The email as interesting in that I was being blamed for giving someone’s former boss ‘carte blanche’ to be abusive. The writer of the email referred to my post Why Being Unreasonable Can Lead To Success.

In the article I propose that to build a successful business you need to be willing to drop conformity and strike out on your own path with your business. I compare running a business to my many backpacking trips where I’d hike on trail until I got a feel for where I was. Then, I’d get off trail and explore sights unseen by most. Here’s an excerpt:

…Be willing to cut your own path. At the very least, explore off trail. Don’t just be a follower who adapts his or her self to the conditions that already exist. Rather find your independence, become your own leader and make the conditions that surround you work for you and your business.

What I’m saying is own your business. What that means is be the person who makes the decisions. Use the knowledge you gather from any source – coaches, books, seminars, teleclasses, trainings, etc. Learning it. Then use it to cut your own path in business rather than just following along with what you’re taught.

So nowhere in the article am I referring to being abusive, unkind or impolite with anyone. If you’re not kind to the people you work with and for (clients & customers included) then you’re making a terrible mistake. Successful businesses are built on the foundation of sound, caring, mutually beneficial relationships. Relationships that are nurtured for the benefit of both people. From what I’ve witnessed again and again not nurturing relationships is business suicide.

Whenever I’m in a relationship with anyone, regardless of their position, I’m trying to remember that what comes out of them is from them. For the most part, the circumstances that cause any sort of reaction are irrelevant. What IS relevant is how we respond to the circumstances. Whenever someone does something we don’t like, we have a choice. The choice is to respond to them with cruelty or with kindness. And the is true in every situation in our business … and our lives.

So have you had these sort of experiences where a boss, a partner or a colleague is unkind or abusive? Or have you had clients like this? What have you done about it?

More over, what importance do you put on nurturing relationships in  your business? How is that importance viewed by others?

Let’s talk about it.

(note: image from Bhernandez on Flickr,  some rights reserved)

Things are so bad here in Michigan, the state with the worst economy in the nation, that General Motors is talking about buying Chrysler – the Big Three become the Big Two.

So are these such terrible time economically? For some, yes. For others, and I’m not talking about the extremely wealthy, no. But that’s not how it’s being talked about. If you just pay attention to all the Henny Pennys writing for newspapers, magazine and the web and listen to their banter on TV and radio, our economic sky is falling.

Now I’m not going to say that the U.S. economy is all good and well. Truthfully, it hasn’t been for at least two, maybe three or four, decades. At least since the early 70′s we’ve been loaning out our future and falsely inflating our economy. Just look at how housing prices and the cost of goods has risen since 1980. All this goes to say that we are, collectively, in an economic crisis here in the U.S.

But does that mean you are facing an economic crisis? Is your business suffering in the same way that Lehman Brothers or Washington Mutual Bank have? I don’t think so. These institutions are part of the reason the economy is where it is. You, on the other hand, are the reason there’s some soundness in the economy.

You see, small businesses are the backbone of the U.S. economy now. Can we compete with Walmart, Ford or Pepsi – no. But we don’t need to either.

I have a number of close friends that work for large corporations. Most of them are scared they’ll loose their job because of the economic conditions. But the other side of the coin is that I have a large number friends who are self-employed or own small businesses who are doing quite well – and plan to continue that way.

The difference? When you work for a large corporation you’re at the whim of Board and Shareholder decisions. These companies need to make huge sums of money to meet their massive expenses – including your salary and benefits. Ultimately, you have almost no control over any part of that how the company chooses to use it’s resources.

It’s in economic times like these that the small business owner and those who are self-employed have an advantage. The first advantage is that your revenue needs and the size of your expenses are much, much smaller than large corporations. Second, and perhaps most importantly, you have the flexibility to change strategies to fit the economic times. And third, you have direct control over the decisions and direction of your company.

Being self-employed or running a small business gives you advantages just not possible for larger corporations. Hence, if you’re smart, you can actually grow your business in times like these. Here’s a few suggestions on how:

• Redefine and refine your niche market
  Even in great economic times, refining your niche can be the key to a lackluster business and an explosive one. Get clear on what problems you really solve for people with your products and services and make sure you’re offering them to the people who KNOW they want them.
• Position yourself correctly
  Positioning is simple – what does your market believe you do. You can have the best products and services in the world and have a niche all to yourself. But if you can’t clearly communicate to that niche what you can actually do for them, in ways they understand and want, then you’ll likely find yourself struggling.
• Spend less money and more time on marketing
  If you need to cut back on expenses, consider reducing your ad dollars. But only do this if you have a plan to replace what you’re spending in dollars with what you’ll be spending in time. For instance, word-of-mouth marketing is far more powerful than any ad, and can cost very little. Start with your current and past customers.
• Look for opportunities
  There are opportunities for business all around you. By opening your mind – along with your eyes and ears – to new possibilities, you can reach into new markets or segments of your niche in ways that can make your more successful. Remember, being small, you can often turn on a dime.
• Ask for referrals
  I mentioned above that word-of-mouth marketing is one of the most powerful forms of marketing you’ll ever use. So massage it along a bit by asking your most satisfied customer to refer you other people they know you can help. A good start is to ‘coach’ them a bit in how to share their story of working with you to the friends and colleagues they feel could benefit from working with you.
• Give something away for free
  I don’t mean give away your services, I mean create something of value – a report, a workbook, an audio series, etc – and pass it around. It’s a great way to find yourself in front of new people who your materials can help. And if you knock their socks off with what’s giving for free you’ll have them thinking, “If (s)he gives that much for free, what will I get when I’m paying them?”
• Get some help
  Sometimes the best money you’ll ever spend is contracting with someone who can help you make your business more solvent in times like these. Often a fresh perspective from someone who can help guide your ship can make all the difference between success and closing.

These are but a few ideas for growing your small business in tough economic times. Just remember, there are other folks out there that are doing just fine too. Some of them are looking for your solution to their problem. They just don’t know it yet. Help them learn it.

But please, don’t get lost in the media storm of fear. What they’re mostly talking about is corporations. Sure, it trickles down to all of us at some point. Yet it’s possible to come out ahead when times get tough. The biggest thing you need to do is tighten up the reigns a bit and focus on even greater clarity. And if you’re like most don’t expect to do it alone. Get help.

So tell me, how is the economy affecting your business? Is it hurting or helping – and why do you think it’s the case? More importantly, what do are you doing about it?

Let’s talk…

(note: image from brentbat on Flickr,  some rights reserved)

Most of us at SOBCon08 are bloggers, right? So you had to know that we blogged the event. Now I say we collectively as I was too busy jotting notes to live blog and too engrossed in conversation to blog at the event.

So what about the evenings…well, if I was getting to bed before 2am, perhaps. But I wasn’t.

Yet plenty of people either wrote reports from SOBCon08 or were live blogging as it happened. We even had a Twitter feed going at one point. The conversation behind the event didn’t stop – even during it.

So if you missed something or lost your notes at least you can find what you need from the vast resources below.

And if you couldn’t make it to SOBCon08 this year, you’ll find a great list of content that was written during the event. Having gone through all of these posts, photos and videos, there’s enough content here to make it feel like you were there – just without the smiles, hugs and handshakes.

• Christine Kane – 5 Reasons I’m Performing at SOBCon08
• Steve Sherlock from Steve’s 2 Cents – SOBCon08 – Initial Feedback on Conference, SOBCon08 (poem)
• The Blog Squad – Chris Garrett Video Interview at SOBCon08 (video)
• Chris Garrett from chrisg.com – SOBCon Event Report Day 1
• Terry Starbucker – SOBCon08 As It’s Happening
• Liz Strauss (THE Liz Strauss) – SOBCon 2008: Feedback on Sunday, Joanna Young at SOBCon08 (video)
• Lorelle VanFossen – SOBCon 2008: FuelMyBlog PreConference Meetup Friends
• Jesse Peterson on Perfectly Peterson – Let the SOBCon08 Live Blogging Begin, Walking to the Hotel, Leaving for the Boat, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 1, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 2 – Anita Bruzzese, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 3 – Brian Clark, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 4 – Lorelle VanFossen, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 5 – Chris Garrett, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 6 – David Bullock, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 7 – Chris Brogan, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 8 – Liz Strauss, SOBCon08 Presentations Part 9 – Wendy Piersall
• Andrew Dubber from – Chicago Part 4, Top 5 Blogging Tools Recommendation by Chris Garrett,
• Shashi Bellamkonda from Network Solutions – Awesome Table Mates (video), Interview with Denise Wakeman of Blog Squad (video), Interview with Jared Goralnik founder of Awayfind.com (video), Chris Brogan Talks About $8 Shirts (video), Interview with Sims Margolis of Utterz (video), Steven Sherlock Talking About PodCampNYC (video), Interview with Tojosan (video), 20 Slides in 5 Minutes (slideshow), SOBCon08 Takeaways, SOBCon08 in Pictures, Chris Brogan Talks About Communities, David Bullock,  Chris Garret – More Bang from Your Blog, 5 Minute Blog Post, Interview with Ria Sharon of Food Allergy Community (video), Brian Clark – Online Business Models That Work, Anita Bruzzese – Managing Your Online Reputation, Live Video on Quik (video)
• Matt Murphey from Matt’s Cuppa & Telecommatt – Live Blogging SOBCon08, Brian Clark – Copyblogger, Lorelle VanFossen, Chris Garrett, Chris Garrett (more), David Bullock, Chris Brogan, Liz Strauss, Wendy Piersall, Decompressing at SOBCon08 (audio), Lunch at SOBCon08
• Michael Martine, the remarkablogger – SOBCon08 Meetups (video), SOBCon08 Boat Cruise (video), The Blog is Now Entering SOBCon08 Mode, SOBCon08 Related Posts and Links, SOBCon08 Reports – Anita Bruzzese, SOBCon08 Reports – Brian Clark on Business Models, SOBCon08 Reports – Chris Garrett, SOBCon08 Reports – David Bullock, SOBCon08 Reports – Liz Strauss, SOBCon08 Reports – Lorelle VanFossen, SOBCon08 Reports – Wendy Piersall
• Rick Mahn – Why Chris Garrett does NOT suck at speaking
• Michelle Divine from Divine Purpose Unleashed – Live Remote Audio Podcasting from SOBCon08
• Stephen Smith from Productivity in Context – Airport Blogging, Friday Morning Zen, Why Chris Garrett Doesn’t Suck,
• Sonia Simone from Remarkable Communications – SOBCon Update: Friday Night, SOBCon Update: Saturday
• Ruth Marie Sylte – SOBCon08: Thursday Recap, SOBCon08: Twitter Updates for 2008-05-03,
• Barbara Rozgonyi on wiredPRworks – SOBCon08 Notes Anita Bruzzese: Managing Your Online Reputation, SOBCon08 Notes Brian Clark: The Triple A Model for Social Media Success, SOBCon08 Notes Lorelle VanFossen | Defining Your Business, SOBCon08 Notes – Chris Brogan: New Media Communities, SOBCon08 Notes Chris Garrett:More Bang from Your Blog, SOBCon08 NOtes – Liz Strauss How to be Irresistable
• Stephen Hopson from Adversity University -SOBCon08 Update
• Todd Jordan – SOBCon08 – Anita Bruzzese, SOBCon08 – Brian Clark – Copyblogger, SOBCon08 – Where I Found More Than A Blogger, Christine Kane – Live Chicago SOBCon08 (video), Christine Kane – Live Chicago SOBCon08 – Live part 2 (video)
• Timothy Johnson from carpe factum – SOBCon08: Final Photo Mashup, SOBCon08: Saturday Recap, SOBCon08: Anita Bruzzese, SOBCon08: Separated at Mirth, SOBCon08: First Night Recap
• Sandy Renshaw from Purple Wren Communications – SOBCon08: Chris Garrett, SOBCon08: Brian Clark
• Phil Gerbyshak of Make It Great – Hanging at SOBCon
• Jen Knoedl – Lorelle VanFossen / Chris Garrett
• Kristen King from Inkthinker & BizChicksRule – SOBCon08 in Chicago: Holy Moly, This is Awesome, Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: On Going to a Conference in a Strange City All By Yourself
• Pete Jones – Pictures are worth a 1000 words…
• Brad Shorr from WordSell, Inc. – Joanna Young, My Pen Pal, SOBCon08 Ramblings
• Becky McCray from Out Standing in My Field & Small Biz Survival – Do you do your homework?
• Brian Kress from Business On The Mound – Business On The Mound Gets To Know Simeon Margolis, Founder of Utterz (audio)
• Susan Reynold’s Tweetstream

So, if you were there, what was the biggest (I know it’s hard to find only one) highlight of your weekend. Doesn’t have to be something Brian or the Chris(es) said. Could be a meal, a conversation or a relationship.

So I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours…in the comment box.

(note: image of (left to right) Stephen Smith, Clay & Jared Goralnick from Wendy Piersall on Flickr)

Liz and Terry sure nailed it this year. Not only in concept but in execution. Their goal – create an event where business owners and bloggers come together to learn from each other – both about social media and about running a business. In my opinion, much needed and only scraping the surface of what’s needed around social media. The weekend was great…here’s my experience.

The flight to Chicago on Friday was quick and uneventful. We landed just before a storm rolled in that delayed a number of SOBCon-ers, including Chris Cree and Gorgeous (his name for his wife). I jump on the orange line out of Midway which deposits me, 40 minutes later, a block and a half from my hotel – in a downpour. Cab it or walk…I chose to walk. And when I stepped into Hotel 71 I was drenched.

I get to my room, dry off, unpack and out comes the laptop. I was thinking of a short nap before the afternoon’s festivities, but turns out Chris Garrett was looking for a lunch date. Sonia Simone and I join Chris for a stroll down Michigan Ave, a nice chat and a great lunch lunch at Carmine’s. Thank God the weather cleared up.

Back at the hotel we walk into a cloud of bloggers. Liz, Terry and bunch of old friends from last year’s event. Hugs go all around. I’m overjoyed to meet Joanna Young for the first time. To David Airey: she flew all the way from Scotland.

Lots of faces, new and old. Too many to remember. But I did get a huge hug from my dear friend Wendy Piersall (tell Dave it was great to meet him). Had a great talk with Tammy Lenski – she and I need to do some work together. Then, finally, after months of phone calls and emails, I got to see the communicatrix – Colleen Wainwright in the flesh. She’s shorter than I thought thought she’d be – AND big bags of fun. We spent much of the weekend hanging out. Loved her before, love and adore her after. She’s a friend for life, I think.

Dinner time was approaching so Adam Kayce and I round up a few people for Indian food at Kypher Pass on East Wacker. Pretty nice food. Nothing, though, like Tandoor Fine Indian Cuisine which Adam and I found last year. It’s out in Park Ridge near O’Hare (map) – like Indian food, gotta check it out.

Anyhow, Todd Jordan along with Shashi Bellamkonda & Randy Windsor from Network Solutions joined us. I learned much about Shashi over the weekend. One thing is he loves to take photos. And did you know he was once a chef?

Chicago Cruises and the Chicago Skyline provided the backdrop for our evening. The entertainment…by a hundred bloggers on a boat, Jim Beam (who sponsored the Friday night) and the amazing music of Christine Kane. If you don’t know Christine’s music – you should. But more on that later. Becky McCray has some great shots on Flickr of Chicago at night. As does Wendy.

Had a great walk and chat back to the hotel with Ruth Marie Sylte. We could have stayed up all night talking politics, spirituality and fixing the problems in the Middle East. But sleep called – especially since I missed that nap (thanks ChrisG).

I’ll continue with my in depth report of SOBCon. For now, I’d love to know your SOBCon experience. If you were there, what was one highlight. And if not, what’s one thing you would have liked to have taken away from the event if you could have come?

(note: image from bjmccray on Flickr)

But this friend of mine – whose name I’m not going to mention – hasn’t made much of her business. Well, I should say businesses.

You see over the past twelve years or so she’s had, maybe, eight businesses. All have focused on providing some array of services based on her varied background. Each one has taken a somewhat unique approach to helping people overcome various problems in their lives. And each one could have probably been quite successful.

But here she sits, more than a decade later, struggling to make ends meat. She keeps wondering how she’s not successful when she has all these great ideas of how to help people and make money doing it. Yet she never sticks long enough in one business concept to see it become successful for her.

Can you relate? Early on in my work, I could. I used to bounce from idea to idea thinking this was the next great one – the one that would build my empire and let me retire at thirty. But thirty came and went and I was still just meagerly successful in the work I did. And now, meeting the woman I would marry, I knew I’d have to be responsible for a family.

Then I decided to take a long look at where I’d been and why I wasn’t successful. Like my friend, I felt I was pretty intelligent, honest, kind and had a good mind for business. I also knew how to run a successful business – how to organize and structure my time, create a clear marketing message, and reach people who I could help.

What I was missing was the commitment to a single business. I liked being able to change what I did on the spur of the moment. And like my friend, I’d be jazzed as I started with a new idea. This would last a few months and I’d get tons done toward my new direction. Then I’d enjoy a few months of the challenge of trying to make money off my new direction. And then, when the real work was needed, I’d get bored of my business and begin thinking of something new.

The problem, however, wasn’t that I was bored with my business. It was more that I hadn’t made the commitment to being successful. I could do all the preliminary work and begin making a living – that was easy and fun. But when it came to rolling up my sleeves and do the work it took to be successful, I’d turn to a new business idea. So, like my friend, I was always in the start-up mode and never engaged in the work it took to really be successful.

I’m so grateful that I figured this out. And I’m even more grateful that I chose a business and began building it with the idea of long-term success. What’s interesting is that in my commitment to one business idea, I’ve been able to be just as creative as when I was bouncing around. But now I have a successful business and the revenue to show it. And I have plans for a huge expansion in the coming months (stay tuned).

Unfortunately, my friend hasn’t understood that she needs to commit to a business idea yet. She continues to struggle financially as she scrambles month-to-month with the work she’s doing. There are probably many reasons for where she is. Even though I know her story well, I don’t want to be presumptuous.

And, just like everyone else, at some point she’ll either have to find one business concept and commit to it or stop being self-employed. Of course, she could always marry into money.

What I’ve taken away from all these years of business experience is that you have to give your business a chance…a chance to succeed. Some will succeed more, some less, some not at all. But it takes time to find out which ideas you have will. So commit to the one you feel has the best chance and go after it. Make the commitment. Put in the work. Get really serious about seeing it through. And see where it takes you.

And if you get stuck, ask yourself what’s one thing inside me and one thing outside me that’s holding my business back from being successful?

Do these stories sound familiar to you?

Are you watching a friend go through the same experience?

So, then, what is that one thing for you – for them? And what’s your strategy to overcome it?

Let’s talk about it…

(note: image from PhotoLab XL on Flickr)

That only makes sense, right? They’re paying you fees, sometimes large fees, to help them either change something or accomplish something that they just can’t manage on their own. It doesn’t matter whether you’re hired to give advice, as a consultant might do, or be more hands-on in helping with change as a coach might – the desired outcome is still the same.

This sometimes leads to pressure to help our clients get results. A little pressure on the client to change is good. After all, change is seldom easy and often requires a little push to get started (okay, and sometimes a big push).

Yet any good coach or consultant knows that we have to manage our clients and how they progress with a bit of skill. Sometimes we can put it all out there and people get it. Other times we have to pull back a bit and offer change in small steps. So we give each client what they can handle in the way they can implement it best. As I’ve seen it, this is the art to being an effective coach or consultant – and even to being an effective teacher, parent, spouse, or friend really.

In the years I’ve been a coach / consultant / advisor (I’m still uncertain what to call myself) one piece of advice has stood out from the rest. It came from the most interesting of sources.

Hannah Whitall Smith was a Christian speaker, author and women’s rights activist in the late 19th century. She was an active speaker in the Holiness Movement of the 1800′s and was active in Women’s Suffrage and the Temperance Movement in the U.S.

Years ago I found a quote which she wrote and tucked it away with thousands of others I have. Then a few years back, I ran across it again. Now as a website designer who was also coaching and advising my clients on how to use their websites to grow their business, it made me stop and consider how I approached my coaching work.

The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.

- Hannah Whitall Smith

Stop and think about it for a minute. How would your coaching practice or your consulting business change if you took this approach? How could it change the relationships you have with your clients? And moreover, how could it enhance the results your client’s are getting?

What changed in me was the understanding that it’s not my responsibility to create change. It’s only my responsibility to offer the opportunity. So rather than feeling like I had to create change in someone’s business, for instance, I could be more effective by meeting my clients where they are and giving them the space and time to come to change themselves.

Someone once told me that it’s not in our nature as human beings to want to share what we know and not see it utilized. It was suggested that it shakes us up inside a bit when people don’t do what we advise them. Whether that’s true or not is an interesting debate of its own.

Yet what I’d like to know is how this quote might change the way you do business? How might it affect your conversations, relationships and approaches with your clients – even if you’re not a consultant or coach?

And maybe the more interesting question of all, if you so choose to consider it, is how could Hannah’s advice change your relationships with your loved ones?

Let’s talk about it…

(note: image from ambergris on Flickr)

According to James from Audio Mecca, it’s necessary to accept “that the other fellow is not a moron.”

I keep saying again and again that conversation leads to relationship and relationship leads to business. No matter whether we’re talking about clients and customers, referrals and affiliates, partnerships or friends – it all begins with building relationships.

That’s why I find James’ comment so interesting. It’s true! We need to believe that the people we get into conversations with, and ultimately building relationships with, are not idiots. Don’t they have a point? Aren’t their comments, perceptions and ideas important in some way?

If they’re not, why are we in the conversation with them in the first place?

When I think about all of you who have commented on my blog, for instance, I can’t think of any instances when I thought someone was an idiot or a moron. Really, I’m not just saying that. But that doesn’t mean every comment I’ve seen has been a highly intelligent one.

Yet I know that people (read: me) sometimes say things that are off-beat a little bit with how they feel or what they think. I know that sometimes in trying to explain something we can just get way off track and start sounding like an idiot. But does that make us one?

Maybe it does…What do you have to say?

Let’s be honest…do you think the readers of your blog are morons?

How about the people your customers and clients? Why/why not?

(note: image from judemat on Flickr)