Then came talk radio. Now people could call in and add their two cents to the topic discussed by the host. I often think of social media as being like talk radio.

For instance, now people can interact with the ‘hosts’ of blogs; engaging in interesting, lively and informative conversations. Or they can meet each other in Facebook or on StumbleUpon. Yet it goes further than that. Now, rather than just commenting on topics, social sharing and networking sites allow users to have control over what content gets seen – which stories get pushed to the top. It’s really an amazing time.

Yet, whether we’re talking about blogs, Facebook or new social sharing sites like Mixx, one thing remains constant – the relationship. Social media has made the internet about relationships.

Knowing I see the internet now almost solely through the eyes of social media, Liz Strauss asked me:

What do you find is the key to great relationships with social media friends?

I can answer in one word - connect!

The key is to make contact. When anyone comes your way, send them a thank you by email. Or give them a phone call. Bloggers love to meet each other. Find out what you have in common…and share.

For instance, I don’t go into the relationship looking for anything. Sure, I may see some potential for business or business partnerships or so on. But I don’t let that be the motivating factor. Rather, I just want to connect with the person on the other end of the keyboard. Then, I let the relationship evolve organically.

What holds the key for me has been to be real, authentic and honest. I’m simply who I am and I try to make space for people to just be who they are. So I think you have to make room for the relationship to develop in its own, organic way. Some people I’ve met have remained acquaintances. Some have become friends. While others have become clients or business partners. Yet each developed in its own way, without any manipulation or prodding. And I’ve loved it.

Of course I say this knowing that the past few months haven’t afforded me the time I had previously to make those connections. I’ve been a bit busy with a major house remodel and the birth of our third child. So I have less time these days. Yet I still reach out. And if you haven’t heard from you me yet, don’t think you’re not on my list. Just give me a little time and we’ll meet.

So in a phrase, the key to great social media relationships is to connect. Reach out and make a new acquaintance, a new friend or a new business opportunity. You never know where the relationship is going to go.

Which is why I’m chomping at the bit to continue our one2one conversation by asking Liz:

How do you find the time to be so engaged with your readers in the comment box, keep up your thousands of connections, write on yours and a number of other blogs, while taking care of your clients? Where do you find the time?

I’d love to know how you keep it all going. Not just Liz, but you too. How do find the time, with family, work and personal time to keep up with your social media relationships?

It’d be great to meet Seth Godin – oh, wait, I did meet him last summer when he was on his book tour for The Dip. Great ideas, nice presenter, but didn’t find him too engaging personally. Maybe it was the setting.

I’ve also had this odd fascination with Robert Scoble, though truthfully, I’m not sure why. Maybe he just gets it in a way I’m still trying too. Or the authors of the Cluetrain Manifesto. That book solidified how I look at business and it’d be great to bat it around with those guys a bit.

Gosh, really, there’s tons of bloggers I’d like to meet. After all, I’m blogging because I love the conversation. I love to learn. I love to share what I know. I just love meeting people. People from all walks-of-life. I want to hear their stories and learn from their experiences. So really, there’s tons of bloggers I’d like to meet…

Like you!

But since in our last one2one conversation Liz asked me who’s the person I’d like to meet, I’ll go ahead and choose someone.

But you know, the blogger I’d like to meet most at this moment is someone I should have met last May at SOBCon07. He was there. I saw him around. We just never got a chance to meet. Who is it? Muhammad Saleem. Why? Because this guy knows social media and I’d love to pick his brain.

I’d call him a social media expert. Just take a look at what he writes on his own blog, [muhammad.saleem] or at Pronet Advertising. Or check out his numerous guest posts on sites like The Blog Herald, Copyblogger, Search Engine Land. And don’t forget to search for the huge number of interviews he’s given around social media. He’s even a top Digger and one of Propeller’s “professional social bookmarkers.“

Really, just follow this guy’s trail and you’ll learn everything you’d ever want or need to know about social media, social networking, social sharing, social marketing, etc. Maybe I don’t need to sit down and pick his brain.

Nah, that wouldn’t be any fun now, would it? Not to mention, I’d miss learning who Muhammad, the person, is. And that just wouldn’t be any fun.

So is there a blogger would you most like to meet? Who? Why?

And for Liz, since this is a one2one conversation…

What’s one way you’d say social media has changed the way you do business?

Of course, when I’m asking Liz, I’m asking you too. So please, answer away. And Muhammad, if you happen to stop by, I pose the same question to you.

My last question to her, if you recall, was how has your blog changed the way you think about relationships? She titled her response: I Knew Everything about Relationships Until an Audience Came. You’ve gotta take a read. Here’s an excerpt:

I don’t think about relationships anymore. I see the people I have relationships with and the incredible differences they make. I see the changes we make in each other.

Of course, she passed a great question right back to me when she asked:

Do you see a difference between your online relationships and those offline — beyond the obvious physical differences?

Without a doubt!

One of the most interesting differences, for me, has been how easy it’s been to get to know absolute strangers. Just from blogging I now have a number of people I’d call friends. People like Chris, Wendy, Char, Lorelle, Ed, Ben, Mike and Mike, David and David, Gayla, Phil, Kammie, Easton and Tony, to name a few. Most I’ve met in person. And all I stay in touch with by phone or email on some sort of regular basis (sorry I’ve been out of touch a bit lately, David).

What’s really neat is that they each live in different places. And I didn’t know any of them before I was blogging. Same with Liz…one day, some months back, I got an email message saying, “I’m calling you at 2pm today.” Then she did, we talked and we’ve not stopped since.

I’m pretty certain that without my blog I’d not know any of these folks. Yet we each have things in common that bring us together. Each one of them (and many of you) have enriched my life in different ways. I feel fortunate to call them all friends.

And that’s where the internet, and the blogosphere specifically, continues to amaze me. Through my blog, I’ve met such good, caring, interesting and quality people. We may live thousands of miles apart, but we’re neighbors in the blogosphere.

So what brings us together in the first place? In each relationship it’s a little different. Yet a common denominator is that we have similar interests. Those interests bring us together. It gives us a ground to share what we know and what we love with each other. Combine that with wanting to meet interesting people and you have a formula for building relationships that extend beyond the blogosphere.

Now that’s not to say that the people I’ve met blogging have replaced friends I’ve already had. Not at all. Rather, it’s just expanded my circle of friends. And that circle keeps getting larger.

And you know, you’re a part of that circle as well. Yeah, I do mean you. Without you, I’m not sure I’d still be blogging. I’m blogging to start conversations and build relationships. So without you, without your interest, your readership, your comments, your sticking around to get to know me, none of this would be possible. Okay, maybe it’s be possible, but it sure wouldn’t be worthwhile. So thank you.

So please, drop me a line some time and introduce yourself. And we’ve already met, don’t be a stranger. I love hearing from you.

And there you have the difference, as I see it, between online and offline relationships. How could I invite a bunch of people I don’t know to start a relationship without my blog? And then give you the time to respond whenever and however you like…if at all?

Of course you should know by now that my goal is to turn my online relationships into offline relationships. And that happens organically. So I have to ask you, how have your online relationships differed from your offline ones? Let’s talk about it in the comment box.

You know Liz and I keep going back-and-forth in this one2one conversation. Remember, you can join in the conversation on either of our blogs as well. So when I ask Liz this question, I’m also asking you:

What’s the oddest beginning to a relationship that you’ve developed through your blog?

You can look for Liz’s response on Thursday. But we don’t have to wait til then to talk about it…

If you need a reminder, Liz Strauss and I are having a one2one conversation across our blogs. First, Liz posts a question to me that I answer on my blog which I, in turn, end with a question for her which she answers on her blog. It’s that simple, really. Of course we’re not selfish…you’re invited into the conversation as well. Think about it as all of us meeting up at the local coffee shop for a discussion – every Monday and Thursday.

And boy did she ask me a great one this week:

What do you do when a commenter seems to misinterpret what you’re saying no matter how hard you try to explain what you mean?

I’ve certainly had this happen to me. I can think of a few occasions where what I’ve tried to say in my post gets taken out of context or simply misunderstood.

I’m actually surprised this doesn’t happen more often. It’s easy enough to misunderstand someone when they’re talking to you in person and can hear your inflections and see your body language. Just think about how often we misunderstand what our spouses are saying.

Writing leaves even more to interpretation because we’re not directly with our readers. They can’t see our bodies or hear our voices to know where we’re putting emphasis. So it can be so easy to misinterpret something written – especially around around hot and touchy topics where a commenter might feel charged.

How have I handled this?

For me, it’s part of the conversation. So I consider it with every other comment. First, I try to restate my perspective, writing directly to the commenter who I feel misinterpreted what I wrote. Then I wait for their reply. Sometimes I’ll even email them to let them know I’ve replied and wait for theirs. If we’re still missing each other, there’s a few things I might do, each depending on the circumstances:

1. Remember, it’s you too. Communication goes two ways. If a commenter just isn’t getting you, sure it’s about them. But not fully. You share some responsibility in them not getting you as well. Not only is it your blog, your writing and your comment box, it’s also your ways of expressing yourself – which aren’t always clear to other people. So just keep that in mind as you proceed.
2. Keep trying. I find it’s best, whenever possible, to keep the conversation happening in the comment box. I want readers to feel that they have the freedom to express themselves here – even if they have the opposing views. I certainly don’t know everything. And my readers have definitely taught me a few things (thanks, btw).
3. Put out the fire. Sometimes when you’re not getting each other, the conversation turns spicy. Rather than either of you bridging the gap – it just gets wider. This can lead to heated debate – which can often be very interesting. But if it turns negative, I suggest putting out the fire. Most often you can do this with a benign comment or an email.
4. Politely ignore them. Even when you put out the fire some commenters will continue. I usually just give them the space to vent their feelings and know that they’ll calm at some point. A great way to give them space is to politely ignore their comments. Acknowledge them, but don’t write anything that would encourage a response.
5. Eat crow. Sometimes you just need to take the punch. Don’t reply in any way that would confrontational. Allow the commenter to believe they’re right. Thank them and let them know that they’ve opened your eyes to something you need to think about. Doesn’t mean you have to agree, but at least it doesn’t need to become an argument.
6. Pick up the phone. This is all about conversation leading to relationships, right? So why not take the next step and phone the person. Most of the time, you won’t be locked into a battle, you’ll just be missing each other. So give them a call. Spending a few minutes on the phone can clear things right up. Seldom have I found this not to work. And even if you end up agreeing to disagree, you’ve made one heck of an impression. The fact that you care enough about your readers to phone them about their comments…think about the message that sends.

I always try to remember that it’s a person on the other end of the comment box. They have experience, thoughts and feeling that are just as valuable to them as mine are to me. Just because we’re not communicating well, doesn’t make one of us less than the other. Rather it makes for an interesting adventure as we get to know each other. And knowing each other is the point.
One thing I don’t recommend, really under and circumstances, is flaming someone on your blog. I just can’t see a need or reason to trash someone who you probably don’t know all too well. If you’ve written something on your blog that just doesn’t jive with people, then it doesn’t jive. Be honest about it and move on. If someone attacks you for it, is really worth going to war with them just to prove your point?

Just look at what happened to Liz. Was there any reason for her to be treated like that? I don’t think so. Better that she learn through politeness and compassion than through fire, I think. What do you think?

Oh, and while we’re talking about Liz, I’ve got a question for both of you:

How has your blog changed the way you think of relationships?

Sure, we each blog for different reasons. Some of us want to express our views or write about something we love. Others of us want make a buck or promote our business. And some just want to share their lives with others.

Regardless of why you’re blogging, it’s likely you’re doing so to get attention.

Now, I don’t mean that in a childish, acting out way. I mean that you want to be noticed; that you’re writing to gain an audience. And you want your audience to so something whether they’re just reading and commenting, clicking link ads or answering a survey. So you want attention – you want to be noticed.

But what do you when suddenly no one seems to be paying attention to your blog?Â

That’s the question that Liz Strauss asked me our latest one2one conversation.

As a blog and business consultant and coach, I get asked questions like this all the time. After all, the far majority of us blogging are doing so because we have something to share. But it’s hard to share when no one’s listening, right?

So what do you do when no one seems to be listening?

First of all, how do you know no one’s listening? Just about every blog that’s been around more than a couple of months sees some traffic – even it it’s a trickle. So people are listening. Okay, so they may not be listening, or even reading, but that trickle of traffic is finding you.

So you need to set criteria for evaluating whether people are paying attention or not. Doesn’t matter what you decide as the criteria, as long as you have some method to measure it. It could be traffic stats or referrals sources. It could be Technorati ranking or number of feed subscriptions. It could be how many comments you’re getting or how many ad click-throughs. Really, it doesn’t matter what your criteria are. Just be sure that it has meaning to you and it can be measured.

Once you have your criteria, you’ll want to begin measuring it. If you’re focused on comments it should be easy because your blogware (WordPress, Blogger, TypePad, etc) will show you comment stats. If it’s traffic, you’ll want to look at your server stats either through your hosting company or a service like Google Analytics. Technorati, feed subscriptions, and click-through ads will all have ways of measuring your what’s happening.

Why measure? Because it gives you a more objective sense of what’s happening on your blog. Sometimes what you sense is happening just isn’t accurate. For instance, if you’re blogging for the conversation you’re probably interested in the number of comments your posts get. So if the number of comments goes down, it tells you that something in your writing isn’t helping your readers create conversation. In this case, you’d go back, look at the posts that have few comments and compare it posts that got more comments. What’s commonly different between them? It could be content, style or wording. Find what’s missing and write your next few posts with those elements in place – and measure what happens.

If your traffic’s dropped, look back at your stats and see why. One place to start is with your referrers. Are you getting the same amount of traffic through your referrers? If not, find out why. Compare the headlines from your most popular posts and those that are less popular – see a difference? Also, think back to those higher traffic times and consider what you were doing then that you’re not doing now. Maybe you used to comment more on other blogs and you’re not now. That’s easy to remedy.

In general, you can almost always measure what’s going on with your blog. After you’ve set the criteria that’s important to you, it gives you a place to spend your time. That way you don’t have to be bogged down with the many aspects of your blog – you can focus on the one to two most important parts.

Probably the biggest thing is to remember that blogging is for your readers. So if you can’t figure out why it seems people aren’t paying attention to your blog, ask your readers. As in a post and elicit comments. Maybe even email a number of readers and create a dialogue with them. They know why they read your blog better than you ever will. And if they like you, most will be more than happy to help. So ask.

The key to all this is to see what works for you and your readers and what doesn’t – or at least what works less well. Blogging is a bit of trial and error – even if you know what you’re doing. Even Darren Rowse is still experimenting with Problogger. So be willing to explore things, try things and see how they work.

Which is what leads me to my next question for Liz…

What have you thought would work on your blog that bombed with your readers? And what did you learn from it?

You know, I’m not just asking Liz, but you too. Let’s see if the comment box can carry two conversations – one about what to do when people aren’t paying attention to your blog AND the other around what have you tried that’s bombed with your readers.

When you go around the Internet, what mistake do you see most often?

That’s her question. Think about it for a second. Do you see what I mean? I could answer this from so many different levels and perspectives that I’ve actually been stuck on how I wanted to answer it.

Since Liz is asking me for one mistake, I’m going to need your help. So let’s have a discussion in the comment box. I’ll start it off…

Having been a web designer for so many years, you’d think the mistake I’d see most often would have something to with visual design, site architecture, or layout. Sure, there’s plenty of poorly designed sites out there. And we all know plenty of blogs that are poorly organized and cluttered.

But the mistake I see most often isn’t in the way a site looks. The mistake I see most often is how a site owner uses their site to communicate with their audience.

I’m bias, that’s certain. And my bias leans heavily in the direction of conversation and relationship. Yet, I know from experience, that it’s conversations that lead to relationships that lead to business. People want to do business with people – not with businesses. In other words, they want conversation and relationships.

Most website owners, most business owners and a lot of marketing coaches simply don’t get this. They focus on slick or carefully crafted marketing copy that’s meant to evoke an emotional response to create action. I’m not saying that’s bad – not at all. I just think that there’s more.

So what I often see are business owners trying to fit themselves into a method of copy writing that’s not so much about building relationship and which I feel is unnatural. Pick a handful of business websites and read the copy. Tell me if you feel like the business owners want a relationship with you or do they just want your business?

I advise all my clients – even those working with copy writing and marketing gurus – to consider their websites as the beginning of a dialogue with a person in their target audience. Don’t just meet them where they are, engage them in conversation. Write as though you’re sitting with them over coffee, listening closely to the problems they face. And respond with an open, conversational tone.

This is easier to do on a blog because of the chance for conversation in the comment box. The blog has the advantage as well in that you continue to engage in that conversation with your audience each time your write a post. But you can do this on a static website as well. As you write, just picture yourself having a conversation about where they are.

Remember, people want to do business with people. So don’t be afraid to show who you are as a person. You can be a marketing professional and still be person. Anyway, you know from your own business interactions that connection, personality and temperament play an enormous role in successful business relationships. So why not build your personality into your marketing materials. Let people know who you are right out front. Let them see you as a person. Then invite them to sit at your table with their cup of coffee. Who knows what can happen next.

So I think not actively engaging people in a conversation that can build a relationship is the most common mistake I see in websites.

There are many others – certainly – even around content. So I turn my site over to you to share what mistakes you often see was you’re perusing the web.

And I have to be sure to continue our one2one conversation by asking Liz…

What’s helped you go from just being a writer on a blog to becoming a conversational dynamo?

I can’t wait to see Liz’s answers. She is truly a master at writing conversational copy, if you ask me. But until she answers, let’s talk…

For years Adam was a successful intuitive healer and teacher who helped countless people work with and heal their personal issues and physical diseases. As a teacher, Adam could explain the most complex ideas about consciousness and healing to people in ways that were easy to understand.

It was as a teacher that Adam got his first experiences working with businesses. Soon, he was focusing more on bringing spirituality and personal development into the workplace. And he loved it.

So this past fall, Adam decided to close down his healing practice and begin working as a business coach. Now his focus is on helping people find the “purpose and meaning behind their work, so you can attract and serve the people who love what you do.” (his words).

And so was born, Monk at Work.

Why did I tell you this story (other than Adam being a close friend)? Well, in our latest one2one conversation, Liz Strauss asked me…

What do you do when your business is going well and close friend’s is not?

My answer…YOU HELP!

What else could I possibly say?

Like most new business, Adam had to endure the early, lean stages of Monk at Work. All the pieces were in place – knowledge, experience, expertise, great service and products, and…great looking blog (if I do say so myself). What he lacked was clients.

That’s where I knew I could help. I knew that I could use my own success to help my friend get started toward his. Of course, it didn’t hurt that the core of my work is to help businesses go from where they are to where they want to be.

Adam consulted with me on blogging, marketing strategy and relationship building. We talked a bunch about how to use the conversations on his blog to create momentum around your business. We talked about blogging as a central marketing strategy. I helped him with solutions for increasing his website and product reach. I even introduced him to people who are now fans of his work.

More than anything, I think what I’ve done is help Adam understand how his website/blog are the foundation for his marketing efforts. And now, Monk at Work is building momentum. Am I responsible for that – not really. He still had to put what we talked about into practice. I simply filled in his gaps in knowledge and helped him focus his efforts using his website/blog.

Do you have a good friend who’s struggling with their business? What can you do to help them?Â

And Liz, since we’re having a one2one conversation,

What tips can you offer for writing quality, conversational blog posts and website copy?Â

If you know what you do, the next step is to know who you do it for. Even better is knowing what problems they face that you can help them solve through your products and services.

But what if your blog audience isn’t your target market

This is exactly what Liz asked me in our latest one2one conversation:

What advice would you give to a friend whose audience wasn’t his niche market group?

Boy, there are a lot of ways to go with this one.

First thing, celebrate that you have audience to begin with. Many web-based business struggle to get people to visit their site in the first place – let alone having an interested audience that interacts with you.

Next, take a look at your blog, website and marketing message. If you’ve been trying to reach your niche market and have ended up with a different audience, there’s a number of things to consider:

1. Perhaps you’ve not been found by your niche yet. It is possible, especially in the blogosphere, that you have a large audience of bloggers who just like you, your writing, your perspectives on things but that don’t need your services. The easy answer to this is you have to hang out where your niche market is hanging out.
2. Perhaps you’re a little off on who your niche is. It’s easy to go off track. As a business owner, you should periodically review your marketing message with who your targeting versus who’s responding. Often, it’s just a few tweaks that can get you back on track.
3. Perhaps you want to write for your niche, but are influenced by your traffic reports. It’s so easy to redirect your blog’s focus a bit because of traffic. It may feel great to write about off-niche topics that get you Dugg, that get large volumes of traffic or that generate lots of comments (I love it too) – just be sure to ask if your business needs are getting met.
4. Perhaps you don’t know your real niche yet. One big advantage to blogging is that you’ll be writing often on topics related to your business. This gives you ample opportunity to explore who it is you want to work with. You may find that what you thought was your niche market really isn’t.
5. Perhaps your niche isn’t your passion. When you blog daily on a topic, it can get old quickly. So watch yourself. See what you really have love for writing about. You may find that your niche market isn’t your true passion. If so, I’d suggest re-evaluating your niche market.
6. You could, simply, be in the wrong business. It does happen. You set out to start a business in a certain area only to find that the it doesn’t fit. Or maybe what you thought you could provide your niche, you really can’t do. Don’t dismay, simply take a look at whether you’re in the right business or not. You can always change what you’re doing.

These are some of the things I’d want to discuss if a friend – or if you – contacted me for help.

There are many facets that go into having a successful business. One is the way your feet are facing when you begin the journey. That’s why it’s often good to stop, pull out the map and take a look around before you end up lost.

So Liz, what would you suggest my friend do if they looked around and found themselves lost with their business?

Of course, the answer I give and the question I pose is not just for Liz.

…clarity in business and in life comes from knowing where I’ve been, where I’m going, and what I value on the days that tragedy strikes…

It’s a great read.

So what question did Liz ask us at the end of her post? Well, it’s a goodie…

What do YOU wish for your business when it grows up?

Have you ever thought about it that way? Have you ever considered that your business, like your life, goes through stages of development?

A mastermind partner asked me a few months ago where on the human development scale I considered my business. I told him that my business was in its late twenties.

Having been a web designer for more than decade, I’ve certainly grown from infancy and toddlerhood. About 4 years ago, I’d say, my business was in its early teens – where I was growing out of just being a child and now taking on greater responsibility.

That’s also the time I was transitioning from being just a website designer to a full-spectrum, web-based business developer. And that’s what really brought my business into its latter teenage years. Now, rather than just building websites for my clients, I began teaching them how to use their websites to actually grow their business. That was a huge step in my development – just as our teenage years are.

I’d say it’s about two years ago, as I began doing more consulting, coaching and teaching – without necessarily building a website – that I entered my early twenties. Now, I had some direction and was branching out into something new, yet I was a bit raw in my approach.

Then along comes blogging and social media. Having been someone who built a successful business simply from growing and nurturing mutually beneficial relationships, it was natural to take to blogging. But the rate my business has expanded has been a surprise. It’s changing rapidly. That’s why I say my business is in its late twenties – time of the Saturn Return (I just wish there was a better name for it).

As my business prepares become thirty, I continue to refine what it is I can do most best for my clients. I’m a fine web designer and a pretty good coder – and I’ll continue to build websites for the foreseeable future.

Yet anyone I speak with quickly learns that my real talents are in consulting with, coaching and teaching my clients how to use the web to meet their business needs. After all, what good is having a website or a blog if it’s not producing results for you? What’s worse is what’s the point in spending lots of money for a beautiful design that gets you little or no return.

What I’ve found is that while most people have or want a website, few really know how to use it to grow their business. They buy a site, or put up a blog on TypePad, write some copy and wait. But there’s more to do – more to understand – than just putting out a website. That’s where I can help.

So how will this mature? Or in Liz’s question – what do I wish from my business when it grows up?

If I look backward from the future, I’ll have taught countless businesses how to use the internet and social media to engage in conversations with their target market that lead to mutually beneficial relationship and increased profits. While my focus market has been solopreneurs who are ready for a large increase in business, I’ve also helped a variety of larger companies create strategies for building stronger relationships with their customers.

Personally, I do most of my work by phone or computer (or whatever cool new device Apple creates) which has given me ample time to be a good husband and a very hands-on father. I have traveled a bit for work, though not too much and I often take one of my kids with me so they can see what I do (okay, really for more bonding time).

My home life is relaxing and gentle. I often begin my days with a brisk hike in the mountains behind our home or a paddle in the lake a few miles away. And more than anything, I have a nice separation between my home life and my office life. Though we do take longer vacations from time to time when I work a few hours while we’re away just to keep my clients moving forward.

I don’t see myself ever really retiring. Though at some point I’ll likely decrease the number of clients I work with at any one time. I’ve worked hard and made a nice, comfortable amount of money, but I haven’t sacrificed my family nor recreation to get there. Looks like I just found the next evolution of my business…

…Back to today, I do have a blog design to finish for a client who’s wants to hire me for the next six months as her blog coach. See how this all begins?

So, my question to Liz (and to you) is:

How can social media/blogging help businesses stay� customer-centered?

If you got this far in reading, I’d love to carry on this conversation in the comment box. I’ll kick it off, and please join me.�

Most recently, I asked Liz the question:

What do you feel is necessary to create an effective strategy to promote a business?Â

Okay, so I didn’t ask a light-weight question. I know that. Just like I know there’s no one right answer. That’s what makes the conversation interesting, if you ask me.

Liz’s answer was great, “…the way I get from strategy to execution is really to have a strategy, one in which outlines in detail what we are building.”

Which somewhat leads me to my answer to the same question – since Liz returned it to me.

For me, the key to strategy in promoting a business lies in clarity. Yeah, I know…you’ve heard enough about clarity. Yet, for me, it’s the foundational stones to creating, promoting and growing your business.

What’s always worked in my business is first to have as much clarity as you can around three points: who you are, what you do, and who you do it for. I’ve seen all my own success stem from clearly defining myself in these first three questions.

It’s taken some time, but I’ve learned not to slouch on these questions. Who I am is very important because I’m, personally, the foundation around my business so I need to know, clearly, what I bring to the table. What I do is far more than what I provide. It’s a look at what problem(s) can I solve for people. And who I do it for considers who are the people who have the problems that I can help them with.

Next I ask myself (and my clients) how: how do you do what you do. I can’t even begin to express how much my business changed when I took a long look at not just what it is I do, but how I do it. My eyes opened to things about my business that I never had considered. And I’ve watched this in many of my clients over the years.

Finally, I ask one final question: where can I find the people whose problems I have the solution too? Since I need to know where to promote my business I have to know where the people I can help are looking for help.

My goal is to get as much clarity around each of these questions as possible. And since I know I’m constantly learning, changing and growing I forget about getting it perfect and just get it clear.

From the clarity I gain through answering these five questions, I now have a light-weight strategy for promoting my business. A little polish on the message and a few decisions around how to reach my target audience, and I’m off to the races.

The key, is to keep everything clear. If I find something that isn’t clear, I stop and track back where it may have become unclear. Then I take the time to clarify that bit of cloudiness.

Which brings me to my next question I’m asking Liz (and you):

I’ve always seen you as having a great deal of clarity around your blogging and your business. What do you lean on to help you keep that clarity?

Please, join in the conversation – either below, in the comment box – or at Liz’s site.

How important is strategy to your business? How does your strategy get built?

Great question, huh? I can’t wait to see how I answer it.

Often, I’ve heard Liz quote Steve Farber as saying, “Serve the people who love you with the services you love.” Well, that’s what I’ve been doing for more than a decade.

Loving what I do is literally the cornerstone that I’ve built my business upon. I can’t do it any other way. I have to love what I do first. Otherwise, I won’t be very effective in what I do.

What do I mean by love? Well, when I get out of bed in the morning, I’m excited to race down to my in-home office and get to work. It’s like being a kid every day all over again.

Sure there’s days that I’m not excited; days when owning my own business is a grind. What’s important is that the majority of the time, I’m excited to sit down behind my desk, flip on my computer and begin working for my clients. So I do what I do because I love what I do.

The second step is to strive to be the best in the world at what I do – which is help people utilize the web to grow their business. When I say best in the world, I’m not talking about being the best on earth – not even close. Rather, I want to be the best in your world.

In other words I want to do such an amazing job for you that you “fall in love with me“. Not in the literal sense. But that you fall in love with our work together and where it takes you and your business. And that’s what I strive for.

As a strategy, I think both love for your work and the talent to be the best in the world are equally necessary as a business foundation.

For instance, I’m a pretty good plumber, but I don’t love doing it. Likewise, I love basketball, but no one’s lining up to sign me to an NBA contract. Neither, then, are viable businesses for me. One I don’t love and the other I’m not good enough at.

It’s important to know that about yourself. What do you love and what are you really good at? For me, these questions are more than foundational – they’re also strategic:

By loving what I do I’ll work to do my best work for my clients, which will lead to their falling in love with me which, in turn, will lead to them talking about me to their friends and colleagues which will generate more business. And the cycle repeats in ever growing concentric circles.

That’s why blogging, social media, word-of-mouth marketing and relationship business work so well for me. I’ve been doing it for years inside and outside the internet. Perhaps I can help you, too.

What’s your strategy for growing your business? How are you using your blog to execute your strategy?

Now, my question to Liz – and to you, too:

What steps do you feel are important to take in order to move from strategy (plan) into execution (action)?

By the way, you have read Liz’s answer to my last question: what do you feel is an effective strategy to promote a business? Her answer is great.

What’s the the part of business, besides relationships, that you look forward to doing more of?

Okay, so here’s how I read your question…”what other part of business, besides building relationships.” I hope this is what you meant, because my entire business is about relationships. From how I market to how I work with my clients, what I see in my business IS relationships.

But I can look through building more and stronger relationships at aspects of my business. So that’s what I’m going to run with.

I’ve been building websites for more than a decade at this point. So it’s mostly what I’m known for. It’s also the easiest way people can describe what I do to their friends, clients and colleagues. So more often than not, I get calls about website design.

What ends up happening, however, is that the people soon find out that I do so much more than most web designers. They learn that I understand business development, marketing, product development, copy editing, etc. And often, they hire me to consult and coach them while we’re working on their website.

So really, I’m really a born teacher. I know that sounds like a vast, presumptuous statement. Yet at every point in my life this fact has been mirrored back to me. In elementary school I used to show my classmates how to do math problems when they didn’t get it. As a baseball player I could spot mistakes in a teammate’s swing and help them feel the correction. Even when I had a private healing practice I would somehow find a way to explain complex spiritual concepts in a way that people just understood.

Even as a web designer, I’ve been very successful at making the technical easy to understand – even a neophyte. This gives clients the power to make their own, informed decisions about their business.

So like you, Liz, I am a teacher. I’m a teacher and I love to solve problems. And this has led me to doing more consulting/coaching/educating-type work. I love it. And it’s opened up a whole new part of my business.

Now people don’t have to need a new website to work with me. They can hire me to help them with any number of projects or aspects of their business: from service and product development to marketing, increasing traffic and building relationships to branding, utilizing a newsletter to just plain problem solving.

And best of all, they can hire me to help them learn how to use social media – blogging, social networking, etc, – more effectively, to grow their business or to increase the visibility of their blog. That I’m doing already with a handful of clients.

So that’s what I want to do more of…coach people to a more rewarding and successful business, consult with people to solve their business problems and educate people on how to do anything they need without being dependent on me. Does that make me a coaching strategist? Maybe.

So Liz (and you, reading this, too), speaking of strategy:

What do you feel is necessary to create an effective strategy to promote a business?

If you got this far, I’d love to hear your answers to either question. Join our one2one conversation in the comment box below.

And if you need some help with your business, let’s talk about it.

Liz Strauss asked me

And so kicked off our one2one conversation.

So what am I doing behind my blog?

When I’m not rubbing the swollen feet of my pregnant wife, chasing around my two young kids, or working on our kitchen remodel, I can usually be found parked behind my Mac Pro plugging away at work.

The work…of course, I design websites – for about a decade now. But more often I coach my clients to use their websites to grow their businesses. So you could say I’m a web designer – plus.

What I do is bring together knowledge of the internet, web coding, design and usability with the skills of a business coach, marketing strategist and just, plain overall problem solver. Basically, if you’d like to solve your business problems through the internet or take the next leap in your already successful business, I’m your guy.

The past year or so, I’ve been spending more and more time coaching and consulting with people on how to use social media (blogging, social networking, social bookmarking, etc) to expand their reach, grow the conversation and build a community around their business.

Liz, as you already know, I’m all about helping people. That’s truly what makes my heart sing. Thus, the way I see my business is that I help people uncover, develop and grow their dreams. Everyday that’s what I do with every client – step-by-step.

The truth is – I really love people. And I get such joy out of seeing people who are struggling begin to touch peace, happiness, beauty and love. Yes, I’m a sap too. But it’s literally what moves my being. For a while I helped people through alternative healing. Now, I guide my clients to similar outcomes through their business.

I could go on and on because I really love what I do. But I won’t. Why? Because I’d like to leave some space to hear from you…what do you do in the back room behind your blog?

And since this is a one2one conversation…to Liz (and you too…):

What’s one, core thing that makes your heart sing? Could be anything. But something that really blows your heart wide open.

If you’re reading this, I’d love to hear your answer too.

How do you bridge two blogs in conversation?

That’s the question Liz Strauss and I kicked around together a couple of weeks ago. And what was birthed is what we’re calling a one-2-one conversation. One conversation across two blogs, in two directions between two people.

Here’s how it works…

Liz posts a question to me that I answer on my blog which I, in turn, end with a question for her which she answers on her blog. Simple enough, huh?

But there’s a twist…you know Liz and I love the conversation we have with you. So we’re not leaving you out. You and I get to talk about my answers and my questions here on my blog while she’s working on hers. AND we get to talk about her answers and her questions on hers as well. Pretty sweet, huh?

So let’s get started on Liz’s question for me:

When I go to your blog I get the feeling there’s a back room behind your blog where you work. What work do you do there?

I’m going to answer this question in my very next post – which is already up right here.

Now, let’s talk. I’d love to hear your answers on this post, the post with my answer, or back at Liz’s blog. Either way, join the conversation.