You all know by now that my wife and I messed up on our due date. Seems odd, even interesting – yet it’s more common than you might think.
Of course that wasn’t the most interesting part of the past month. The most interesting part are the events that led to me catching a birthing baby. So let’s get right into that…
On Sunday evening, November 11th, my wife began pre-labor right around sunset. So we finished dinner (I cleaned up), I dropped our two kids in a bath and got them off to bed. Meanwhile, my wife settled into her now familiar labor patterns – being left alone, in a dark room and moving between the bed and the tub.
Now my wife thought all along that our this child, our third, would birth quickly. Of course, we also thought my wife would have given birth a month ago at this point so who knows. Either way, she was going through her process.
We called our midwife, Beth, after I got the kids down for the night and things settled in our home. Beth came over and confirmed that the contractions my wife was having were pre-labor. We both adore Beth – she’s been attending births since she was 16 and has an absolutely incredible understanding of women in pregnancy and the birthing process. And now in her 40′s we’re great friends. Beth stayed with my wife, Sabira, for a few hours and then we all agreed it was best for Beth to go home, get some rest and wait for the labor contractions to begin. Also, she thought it important that Sabira get whatever rest she could.
The whole night, my wife pre-labored and by sunrise she was exhausted having spent a sleepless night between these strong, long-lasting contractions. By morning, she was pretty depleted. Basically, she suffered all night long, with no rest or relief from the contractions. And to top it off, she showed no signs of the labor progressing, which took a toll on her mentally and emotionally. To make matters worse for her, there was no ‘other worldly’ feeling like she had with our other two kids. She describes the ‘other worldly’ feeling as reaching a deep space of peace, strength and holiness within herself that makes laboring bearable. Without that experience, it was hard for her to track where she was – which just made her worry and tire more.
What was I doing, you may ask. I was staying out of her way as much as I could. At times I checked in on her, but mostly I cleaned, made soup and teas and caught brief cap naps on the kids’ floor.
Around 8am Beth phoned. We talked about how the night went. Sabira shared her experience and I my observations (as useless as they are at this point). And we all decided that it would be best for Beth go to her shop, grab some herbs, homeopathics, and other remedies and head over after she got her kids off to school.
So around 9:45 or so Beth calls me from her shop and we talk about Sabira’s needs. We both assumed that with the hustle of the day, my wife’s labor would slow (which often happens) and that we needed to get her some rest and nutrition so she wouldn’t be too exhausted when her labor picked up again that night. We talked about herbs for slowing labor and brainstormed what she might eat or drink.
But then…
From my office, on the first floor, at the back of the house, I heard my wife make an all too familiar sound. When she is actively pushing a baby out – something I heard a few times already – she makes a very distinct, prolonged sound. It’s not a cry, it’s not a scream…I can’t describe it, but it feels like it’s drawn from the depths of the earth. I just know it when I hear it and it means a baby’s coming. That’s the sound I heard while I was on the phone with Beth.
I immediate hung up with Beth saying simply, “Let me call you back.” In no way did I alarm her of what I heard nor did I suggest she hurry. As far as she knew, I would call her back in a few minutes to finish our conversation.
As I ran through the house and up the stairs my wife sounded again, and I could feel the gathering of energy in our house (yes, it was that palpable). I thought, “What’s going on? I left her 15 minutes ago and she wasn’t actively in labor. How could she be pushing?”
Yet everything changed as I opened the door to our bedroom. There she was, in the middle of contraction bearing down as though she was going push her way to the first floor. When the contraction finished our eyes met and I experienced her disbelief that she was pushing. When I looked down, I saw our baby crowning. And even now she laughs at the look of complete shock on my face. I wasn’t shocked at what I was seeing, but more that she went into active labor apparently out of nowhere.
Remember, my wife had non-progressing pre-labor all night, she was completely depleted. I had just been talking to our midwife about how to get Sabira through the day so she could labor later that night. Now, she’s squatting in a chair, hand pressing against the wall with the crown of the head showing. I was shocked, to say the least.
Immediately I rushed to her. We both knew what was going on, but neither of us were expecting it so quickly. Yet another contraction and she pushed the entire top of the head out to about the eye brows. Now, I’m playing midwife. I gently rub the top of our baby’s head, just feeling for chord and looking for color change that shows good oxygen and blood flow.
Then, in a moment only a birthing woman gets, she looks at me and says, “I need to get in the tub.”
Now we planned on a water birth so we had a huge tub in our bedroom that was full of warm water and ready for her. The tub is actually a Rubbermaid 100 ga. Stock Tank that our midwife has used for years. No kidding, while it sounds odd, it works great. Beth’s found it to be the best option for a birthing tub because it’s deep with very sturdy, plastic sides. Our son, Ahmed, was born in it.
Well, I didn’t know if it was a good idea to walk across the room with the head of baby part-way out but we did it anyhow. And just as she squatted into the tub, another contraction and she pushed the entire head out. We both started crying with such joy. Here we are, together and alone, birthing a baby together.
I gently caressed our baby’s head under the water until the next contraction came that pushed the body about halfway out. I gently held the body as a second, and final, contraction came that pushed our baby fully from my wife’s body. I held our newborn child in my hands and lifted her onto my wife’s chest. In essence, I was the midwife (which by the way means ‘with woman’ not with husband) as I caught our little miracle. In a state of euphoria, I grabbed some towels and blankets to wrap our baby in to stay warm.
At this point, with a little kissing and a few words we shared our joy as well as our shock. Then we thought it a good idea to phone Beth.
As the active part of the birth was probably less than ten (yes, 10) minutes, Beth was still at the store collecting things to support my wife through what we thought would be a long day of pre-labor. So when I phoned her back she had no idea that in the ten minutes or so, we birthed a baby. The phone call went something like this:
“Hey Beth, it’s Dawud,” I said.
“How’s everything going? I’m just about ready to head over. Is there anything else you can think of that would support her,” she asked?
“Hang on…how would you like to hear the sound of a newborn baby,” I asked her?
“What! You’re kidding, right” she said.
“Not kidding. Listen,” I replied, holding the phone out for her to hear my daughter crying.
“No flippin’ way,” she answered stunned, “I be there as fast as I can.”
And driving 95 mph all the way, she was.
Meanwhile, my wife and I sat together with our new little miracle, I moving between the tub and the door to our bedroom where my older two kids, A’esha almost 4 and Ahmed 20 months, were constantly asking whether they could meet their new, baby…wait, we’re almost there. They were so excited, having heard everything that was going on upstairs. They couldn’t contain themselves, yet my Sabira and I decided it was best for them to come up after the placenta was born. So I kept them waiting. But it didn’t stop them from asking every 2 minutes; their little heads poking around the corner of our staircase.
Of course, Beth did arrive, about 15 minutes after the birth. She rushed right upstairs and came in with a huge smile on her face. For a few minutes, we all sat together sharing in our excitement, amazement and shock. Beth and I attended to my wife’s needs, as did Beth’s assistant Laura, her sister who got there shortly after Beth, as well as a close friend of ours, Stacy. We helped her out of the tub and made space for her to birth the placenta – which has it’s own, natural journey. Then clean up, exams, etc… followed by rest and food, etc.
So somewhere around 10:15 am on Monday, November 12 my wife gave birth to our third child, a daughter who we named Laila Amara Miracle. She was born from my wife’s womb into my own hands. She was a robust and healthy 9lbs 8oz at 21 inches long.
My wife turned out to be right about the fast birth. It just didn’t happen like we thought it would. Two weeks later, Laila is quite healthy and is adjusting nicely to the world. A’esha and Ahmed are absolutely in love with her. A’esha asks incessantly to hold her little sister. And Ahmed runs to her whenever she cries, and in his 20 month old voice says, “Don’t cry Laila.” It’s precious.
As with our first two kids, my wife was amazing through all this. Even when she was struggling through pre-labor, she still had such a grounded strength. Women are amazing in birth and I feel so fortunate that my wife and I have chosen a natural, home birth with each of our kids. It’s worked great for everyone involved. And my wife gets to keep absolute control over the influences around giving birth – something neither of us want to ever trade nor give up to someone else. Birth for us is a natural process rather than a medical procedure. We feel doctors and hospitals are only needed if, well, they’re really needed. And we’re thankful they’re there in case they’re needed. And we both pray that it’s not.
So that’s our story. Now, would you like to meet Laila? Well, here she is…
Lovely, isn’t she? Mom says she looks like me. I don’t know. Really, I don’t care. I’m just happy she’s here, with us and is healthy. But gosh, isn’t she cute just laying there, all peaceful (on a full belly of breast milk), those sweet little hands up around her precious face.
Enough already, I know. I just love being a dad…just a bit more than I love getting enough sleep.
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77 responses so far ↓
OMG! What an incredible story! I used to check your site everyday to see if you had any news, and finally today you did! Congratulations and all the very best for your new child, she is really beautiful. And that was quite a crash course in midwifery for you there
Congratulations to you Dawud and to the rest of the family. Another Miracle in this world is a VERY welcome sight!
Congratulations Dawud. Blessings to you and your family.
This proves that the baby arrives when it is ready.
She is beautiful.
I’m speechless about the labour and the birth. I bet you and your wife never felt so close to each other than you were at that moment, holding the newborn Laila in your hands. Miracle indeed.
Congratulations to all of you! She is beautiful indeed!
Wow, that’s quite a story! Congratulations on another little Miracle!
Dawud, my warmest congratulations for the new Miracle in your life. She’s beautiful and the promise of her life ahead must fill you with joy.
Dawud,
Sincere congratulations to Sabira and you as new parents (again).
Your post reminded me of a similar experience almost twenty years ago now when I delivered my first son. Our physician was busy delivering another baby and I, a physician in training at the time, delivered Benjamin. It was pure joy.
Laila is beautiful; I know you’ll cherish her always.
Congratulations on your newest addition! Thank you for sharing this wonderful moment with us.
Congratulations to the whole family. Two weeks already and Laila Amara looks as lovely as her name sounds.
Welcome back DM. I have missed you and am looking forward to the promised exchange of views on philosophy!
All the best.
Congratulations, Dawud! I love you, and am relieved/excited to hear your news!
Phil,
Thanks, bro. I look forward to sharing the story with you in person sometime soon.
Carma,
Thanks. And it does prove that the baby comes when it’s ready – not when the parents are. I think it’s just part of the surrender that we, as parents, have to go through with our kids.
InspirationBit,
Thanks. It was an amazing experience all the way around. It also reminded me of how natural the whole thing is. My wife could have birth our daughter without me being there, really. I’m just happy it worked out like it did. Being that we choose home births, I’ve been wanting to catch one of our kids. Circumstances had made it possible…until now.
Phil,
Thanks. What a ride.
Tammy,
Thanks. It certainly does. It seem with each of our children has come a renewed spirit for what the future holds. Must be one of the gifts they bring with them.
Barry,
How lovely that you got to catch your son. It’s a remarkable thing, isn’t it?
Joann,
Absolutely. Soon, we’ll get back to our regularly scheduled program, but I’m going to let this one play for a couple of days first.
Home Recording,
Again, thanks. I’ll be jumping back in with both feet in the next couple of days. Just want to let this post ride for now.
Mark,
Thanks, bro. As I’ve said, it was a miraculous journey (pun sort of intended). If this is the way it begins, boy should the future be an interesting one.
I got a little teary eyed reading your retelling of the events with the birth, Dawud…must have been a very powerful experience to be there in person for sure.
Hooray for your family and little Laila – I’m happy that you’re all together.
She’s very beautiful. Wishing you and your family
much joy and every blessing.
Lisa
From the Oasis
Mona,
Imagine being there…It was surreal. And hey, I miss you and Gio.
Lisa,
Thanks. We’re so happy. Now the real work begins.
Congratulations! Thanks for sharing it with us.
This might be the first time a blog post made me cry. Congratulations.
Alex
Truly a Miracle in every way. What a beauty. What a great story. What great parents Laila, Ahmed and A’esha have.
Here’s a little lullabye by Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) that I found for all three babies, and us babies too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L-GOHa5-YQ
That was an exciting, beautiful and touching story. How did your wife feel about having a home birth the first time she gave birth? It sounds like it’s a wonderful experience, but I would be scared! What if something did go wrong? I’m asking because I think it might be a less stress alternative to the rush and bustle of a hospital for me some day.
Jean,
You’re certainly welcome. Happy to share.
Advice,
Maybe I should invest in Kleenex…
Carol,
I know this one already. And still, thanks for caring enough to share.
LaurenMarie,
Not at all scared. We didn’t even consider a hospital birth. For us, birth is just a natural process that needs room to happen.
But that doesn’t mean were cavalier about it either. We have an excellent midwife who we trust deeply. It’s her job to handle most difficulties like breech or chord wrapped around the next. A good midwife knows how to monitor and manage most ‘emergencies.’ And a good midwife can also help decide when it’s time to transport to a hospital. What’s more, they can act as the middle-person between hospital staff and the birthing parents. All-in-all, it’s great. And nothing compares to being at home, where you have full control over the environment.
I could go on, but I’ll save you the promotional speech.
That is an absolute torrent of goodwill and good wishes there Dawud! So happy for you, and post some more pix when you can.
Oh my gaaaaaaawd!!!
Birth of the year, for sure. What a sweetheart.
And given such a dramatic choice of entrance, don’t be surprised if she’s got a big streak of actor in her.
Congratulations to all the Miracles!
Living Room,
I couldn’t agree more. We both feel quite fortunate that we have each of our kids and that they’re all doing well and thriving. A day literally doesn’t go by that we don’t thank God.
Colleen,
I know, isn’t it sweet? She’s already so different than our other two kids it makes me anxious to see what develops in her personality. What a joy and what a gift. Thanks for your good wishes.
Congratulations Dawud and Sabira — both on Laila’s arrival and your expert delivery of this new life! May this remarkable start to her life continue it’s positive influence throughout the years. Rest up and enjoy your wonderful family. Peace.
Shonnie,
Thank you so much. Your kind words really reach my heart.
That Baby is very cute. Look exactly like my little sister. Congratz on the new arrival.
Just for those people who haven’t met Dawud personally (I’ve had the pleasure) and for those who have never witnessed a childbirth (I have, twice) … that’s NOT a picture of Dawud attempting to catch his baby.
With that out of the way — what else can be said? Congrats. That’s an incredible story.
What strikes me about childbirth is how different the experience is for each person – each story is amazing, often mixed with humor, joy, craziness and a whole host of other emotions.
Welcome Laila…I’d say you’re in good hands … literally …
Like Mona and Alex, I am in tears! What a wonderful time! Your wife is amazing to me. I have birthed four babies and only the last one was without pain meds. I thought I was going to die. What an amazing example of strength she is. Please pass on my admiration and well wishes to her.
Dawud, she is beautiful. You did wonderful and it is the best introduction I have had the pleasure of being involved with in a long time
Deep Freeze,
Thanks.
Ben,
True, Ben, and it all happened so quickly it sort of felt like diving after a fly ball.
Each of our births were quite different. My oldest daughter went pretty much textbook. My son was posterior (read: very painful) but turned himself as he descended the birth canal (read: even more painful) and was born anterior. And, well, you know Laila’s story. It’s really been amazing to look at how each birth has matched the personality of each of our kids.
April,
My wife is amazing to me too. And I’ll certainly share with her your sentiments.
Four kids, huh? We’ve been thinking in that direction since we started a family. Are you done having kids? What’s balancing four like?
And, as always April, thank you for your kind words.
Once the kids outnumber the parents, you might as well go ahead and have as many as you want…four doesn’t seem any different than three…except your vehicle choices are more limited if you all want to ride together
Congratulations Dawud. It’s been so long since we’ve all seen you, we had no idea that you even had two! Glad to hear about all of them.
Did you mean that Ahmed was born breech? I had Zaynab at home breech….that’s a long story.
Much Love and Deep Peace.
I shared your story with a young expectant mother and her husband’s family. The husband is away overseas but is expected to be back for the delivery. The mother to be is confident that her husband will support her to do it the same way you did, but her in laws are not in favor. Problem of generation gap?
April,
You’ve got me chuckling. Makes sense though. Seems like the only difference between three and four might be the amount of time my wife and I can spend with them individually. Or not.
And the vehicle thing…boy my wife has resisted driving a minivan. But now, she’s seeing how much easier a minivan can make her life.
Widad,
Thanks. A’esha’s four next month and Ahmed is 20 months. So we definitely have our hands full.
Ahmed wasn’t breech. He was posterior, meaning he was head-down, but facing front instead of back. Since you’ve been through birth, can you imagine a child turning 180 degrees in the canal?
Home,
Thanks for passing our story on. I think there is a generation gap…and an interesting one. When I talk to my 90-year-old grandma, who’s still highly functional; golfing three nights-a-week, she and all her siblings were born at home with a midwife. Some of them got doctor checkups afterward, some not. Yet home birth is a stretch for my mom, who had my sister and I in the hospital, and who works as a hospital administrator. Even my sister, a nurse, finds it difficult to swallow. It just makes sense to us.
As I said above, I think modern medicine is great, but it’s not necessary until it is. Birth, for me, proves that fact because the baby’s coming out (in most cases) whether in a hospital, at home or in a car (happened to a friend). Birth is natural and I think it being natural should be balanced with modern medical care. But I’ll get off my stump now, sorry.
Gosh what a lot of very brave people, all of you that have more than two kids. Truth be told my ideal family includes four kids and two dogs but my husband and i simply do not have the guts to go in for a third child. My two girls ages 4 and 1, Fiza and Kayana keep me on my toes and then some!
WOW! What an amazing story. Congratulations on the new baby. She is very cute.
OMG!! What a great story! I love reading your posts. She is so precious.
Congratulations to you all Dawud!
And thank you for sharing your joy with us all. I love hearing how Ahmed and A’esha have welcomed Laila into your family.
Living Room,
Four kids…sounds pretty good to me. That’s what my wife and I are considering as well. We’ll see how three goes first. It’s important to us that we can give each of our kids what they really need from us before we decide to have another.
George,
Thanks. We think she’s pretty cute too.
Molly,
Thanks, thanks…and thanks.
May,
Thanks, my friend. We were quite pleased when we saw how Laila’s siblings treated her too. Then it became obvious that they were merely mirroring how we have treated them all their lives. Kids really learn what you do more than what you say.
Congrats
Dawud, it is December already. I know that it will be difficult to leave the new born baby and come to all us oldies, but do try and post some small blogs.
She’s beautiful! How blessed you are. Congratulations!
That is a great story; congratulations on your third child…I still need to get one but I’m sure everything changes (for the better) once it happens.
Dawud, congratulations to all. I found your site via Phil’s and I am so glad I did.
What an amazing story. Thank you for sharing it with us. She is precious! Blessings to you all.
If you dont have time for a detailed post, how about some pix of the kids? Would love to see some.
(from Dawud – response: pictures of family, pre-Laila)
Dawud are you thinking of offering your services as a midwife (now you are so experienced and all)
? We miss you.
Thanks so much for sharing the whole process. What a wonderful story. Babies have their own way of coming into the world. This one got just what she wanted – to be helped in by just the two of you. How special.
Sorry DM, I was not watching out for your response. It makes great reading about your family. I think that this is what blogs should be doing. Get people to share their stories, encourage each other, blow trumpets etc. Do keep it up. See you back soon. All the best.
This story is absolutely amazing and has left me choking back tears! What a beautiful experience and GORGEOUS baby!! Congratulations to your entire family!
Wow, beautiful birth story. I love how connected you both were to all of your births, you knew what that sound ment, and how to look for the cord… true love of a dad.
Indy,
Thanks
Home Recordings,
I’m back. Going to take a short time to get my blogging feet beneath me again. But we’ll get back to our regularly schedule program beginning today.
Hopeful Spirit,
Thanks
Matt,
Thanks. Everything does change. And regardless of what you might think or people may tell you, you’ll never truly be ready. Readiness is just something we make up in our minds. There’s just way too many variables and changes in our life with children to plan anything for it. So let it come…when you’re ready!
Pam,
Thanks and welcome. Let me know how I can be of service. And please, join in the conversation whenever you’re moved too.
Kaya,
Thanks. It really was a special time. One that we both keep playing, in slow motion, in our minds. If we played it at full speed, we’d probably miss it.
Home Recording,
No worries. I think we all have our comfort levels and they should be honored – even while I’m thinking we should push on them from time to time.
Hethir,
Thanks. Really, it’s my wife and kids I’m connected too. Without them my life would have so much less meaning. Thanks for honoring that.
Wow!! that must be some experience Dawud…. thanks for sharing! Congratulations to you all!! and calm, serene Laila is so adorable!
Tears…I’m in tears – beautiful story, beautiful baby, and beautiful family! Thank you so much for sharing!
Pearl,
Isn’t she? Sorry, I have to gloat. She’s incredible. We feel quite blessed to have each of our three kids.
Lisa,
Ahhhh…shucks. You’re certainly welcome. Though I tend to write about business topics, I have no problem sharing my own life from time to time.
(whisper…truth be known, everything I write here is about me, my business, my family and my life. So even when you read a business topic, you’re still getting me.)
Congratulations!!! She looks gorgeous.
And what a post!! Thanks for sharing. And I’ll have to share this post with my wife as well.
Take care.
What an awesome birth and a beautiful baby! Enjoy your babymoon.
Isaak,
Thanks. Share away. And if she’s like to comment, I welcome it.
Karen,
Thanks so much. We’re savoring every moment we can remember too.
Blessings come in so many ways. I was completely with you as you described you and your wife’s journey – an absolutely beautiful story.
Mother Earth aka Karen Hanrahan
http://www.wellnessconsultant.com
Mother,
I hear you. Someone once told me that miracles aren’t the big, life-altering events we’re always looking for but rather the small, every moment things we take for granted, like how my lungs fill with a gas that’s perfectly mixed to keep me alive or the way the earth responds to rain. And, for me, the birth of a child.
I can’t help it. I’m crying. So beautiful. Congratulations! Thanks for sharing this joyful story!
K Stone,
Thanks. It’s been quite the ride. Laila continues to astonish us…and she’s not our first.
Wow, Dauwd. Words can’t describe the feelings! How wonderful. Congratulations and very best wishes!!
Chris
Chris,
Thanks so much. Every step of the way has been remarkable – just like with each of our other kids. It’s different, but no less a miracle.
thx, it’s a beautiful story
congrat
Wow, that sounds like a heck of an ordeal. I’m glad everything went over well, except for the all night labour that is.
Oh my word! What an awesome story! You have a great way with words Dawud and I was spellbound by your narration. What an awesome story, one that sadly is becoming increasingly rare in a world of fast food and modern medicine. You get birth induced at best, or a caesarean section at worst, as the specialist schedules deliveries according to his diary…..it sounds efficient, but this is not a production line! Hats off to you and your wife for keeping it real and going the natural route. I wish more people will follow suit.
A big congrats to your latest addition. She looks adorable. I’m in similar situation at the moment. My partner is due for a C section next week since due date is long gone and there is no sign of long John Silver coming through. You’ve inspired me. Thanks
No doubt, she is really cute. Looks like a sleeping little angel. Congratulations to both of you.
You have a beautiful baby!!Due dates are tricky, false alarms are so deceiving that it kept me in a panic for days.It’s really an experience you will never forget.Congratz!
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