As most of you know, my wife and I have been expecting our third child any day now. By our calculations, she’s about 12 days overdue.
Being 12 days overdue would alarm a lot of doctors. But we’re not working with a doctor. As with our first two children, we’re planning a home birth supported by a midwife.
Now my wife and I aren’t granola crunching, tree hugging hippie-types - though she had that stretch in her life before we met. But we do tend to live as natural of a life as we can. We eat almost entirely organic foods and free-range meats. We try to stay away from harmful chemicals, not only in foods, but in the other products that touch our lives as well.
We think of ourselves as conscious parent who create structure and set boundaries for our kids, while remembering that their consciousness is important as well. We had planned to breastfeed all our kids until the age of 2 (which is quite normal) but had stop with both our kids because we got pregnant with the next.
So when it comes to pregnancy and birth, we trust the natural gestation and labor process. We welcome modern medicine where it’s needed, but don’t lean on it like a crutch. If we need medical care, we’ll take it. And luckily, with our first two kids, we’ve not.
One thing we haven’t done with any of our pregnancies is get an ultrasound. Ultrasound can tell you many things - from the health to the sex of the growing baby. And it often can tell us with great accuracy what week of the pregnancy we’re in (maybe you can guess what comes next).
Usually, the duration of pregnancy is based on the number of weeks from the woman’s last period (sorry guys). From that we figure that within 14 days of the last period is when that last ovulation took place and likely when we got pregnant.
So considering that we’re a couple of weeks ‘late’ my wife and I sat down with the calendar she keeps of her cycle and decided to look at what could be going on. Without all the intimate detail, it appears we’ve made a mistake in the timing of when we got pregnant.
Now this might sound odd, but it’s less rare that you might think. Even with all the technology of modern medicine doctors frequently get this wrong. One other huge variable is breastfeeding - which throws the woman’s cycle all over the place. While a woman is breastfeeding, she can have cycles of varying lengths and even skip multiple months.
So what does this all mean?
Well, my wife was breastfeeding when we got pregnant. That means she could have easily ovulated later than 14 days. And with other, rather intimate, signs that happened shortly after - and a few weeks later than when we thought we got pregnant - it clearly appears that we miscalculated the date we got pregnant. Which means…
We miscalculated the date we’re due.
Oops. Once we sat down with all the information we had - including what science knows about getting pregnant and gestation - everything fell into place. Now some of the signs we were experiencing during the past few months make sense - as they didn’t before. And some of the physical signs make sense as well - like how engage the baby is to the birth canal.
So it appears our actual due date is during the first week of November, rather than the second week of October - as we thought.
This means, I’m getting back to work until she goes into labor. It also means that I’ll be taking my paternity leave a little later than I thought. So even though Wendy announced that I was officially on paternity leave, I’m actually not. Not her fault. Not really even our fault. Just the way nature has it set up. We just didn’t read the signs correctly.
So you should see me writing a bit more over the next week or so…and then I’ll take my leave.
I’ve tried pretty hard not to be too graphic or give too many personal details about the process. If I’ve gone a little overboard in my descriptions, I’m sorry. And, this is a topic we know a ton about…so I’m happy to share anything I can about this amazing process.
As always, life is an adventure.
My name is Dawud Miracle and I'm a
71 responses so far ↓
OH, you’re poor wife - to think she was almost done, only to find that she wasn’t?! The last month of a pregnancy is the WORST. I feel so bad for both of you!
Wow, what an amazing story. I think you handled “the details” in your post just fine. All the best to you and your wife as you anticipate this new birth. And yes, life is an adventure. You could even say it is a miracle!
Thanks for keeping us informed. I, too, find the whole thing fascinating. As usual in life, it pays to be flexible. We’re all rooting for you.
Ah, but it will still end in a little Miracle!
Wendy,
She’s actually doing pretty well. Being her third time pregnant, she knows what to expect. Plus, even with not being able to get comfortable and her lack of sleep, she really loves the last trimester because the baby is so active.
Ray,
Thanks. We’re pretty informed and fairly open people, so I wanted to be sure I didn’t say too much.
Jean,
Yes, it does!
Douglas,
Without a doubt. Really, I can’t wait to meet this little one.
But Dawud, what about those of us who *like* graphic details?
Dwaud, I want to commend you for being so actively involved in your wife’s pregnancy. This is not generally the rule.
Also, I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read “we” planned to breastfeed. However, I know what you meant and it is refreshing to hear how devoted you and your wife are to the family unit. Another thing that is on the decline.
Sorry Dawud, please accept my apology for the typo. My fingers were just too fast.
I look forward to great news come the first week of November.
Loved your post, you sound like a lovely close knit family unit.
How could you resist getting any ultrasounds done? i found the whole process so fascinating both our times, i wouldn’t have minded going more than the required number of times even.
I really enjoy the content of your blog. It’s an amazing story.
Love & Gratitude,
Tina
Think Simple. Be Decisive
It made fascinating reading. We too had a similar experience with later than expected delivery of our son. All went well eventually. Here is wishing both of you all the very best.
When you can, it would be nice if you could write more about your life style which also appeals to me. Thank you.
Communicatrix,
Perhaps I’ll put up the NC-17 version. If so, I’ll specifically let you know.
Carma,
Thanks. I’m always a bit careful in using ‘we’ when talking about things that my wife basically has no choice but to go through. Yet with pregnancy, I support her and do my best to care for her needs. That’s a change in my life as well (though nowhere near as large of one), so I see it was ‘we.’ Breastfeeding the same way. Really, parenting and everything around it too.
I just think it’s sad more dads aren’t fully engaged with their kids. It’s absolutely incredible. I’ve learned so much about myself watching my kids. And truly, there’s no easier way to open my heart than a glance or a hug from my kids.
Ben,
Thanks brother. I’ll certainly keep you informed.
Living,
Yeah, I know. It’s just one of those things we decided not to do. More than anything, we wanted to be surprised by the sex. Now, I know we can get an ultrasound and not find out the sex, but really - it’s so tempting, we’re right there - how do you not? So we opted not to do ultrasounds.
Tina,
Thanks. Stay tuned…
Home Recording,
Thanks. What’s funny is we both had the feeling of early November when we found out we were pregnant. Than we sort of changed our minds on it. You know, that’s the beauty of nature - ultimate it decides how things go.
Perhaps I’ll write more personal stuff in the future. I’m always trying to balance my work and personal life, in general. I’ve done a lot of work in consciousness, spirituality and philosophy over the past 15 years or so. So I have a lot of possibly interesting perspectives that I’ve been considering a way to share. I just don’t have the bandwidth to carry a second blog right now. Maybe I’ll write a few posts and see how people like it.
Also, my wife is going to begin blogging about pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding, parenting and child development in the near future. She’s got some amazing, and controversial, perspectives on things. Her blog should be a great ride.
It is inspiring to hear how flexible you are with the change. I guess I’m even more inspired about how flexible your WIFE seems to be with it. I’d love to see her do a guest post and hear her viewpoint!
Truthfully, I’m happy for the delay, since I am reaping the benefit of your tutelage sooner rather than later! I’m sending your wife and the newest Miracle my gratitude.
Lots of love to you and your family!
It truly is an adventure! Soon, it will be soon!
No need for a second blog. This will do fine whenever the mood takes you. All the three topics are not blogged enough about!
It’s highly commendable Dawud to live a life like yours. In todays times it’s tough to have a home delivery and not to go for ultrasound.
My good wishes to both of you’ll.
Congratulations on your upcoming new child.
You are so blessed and we wish all of you the best.
Looking forward to updates and pictures.
All the best -
Shawn,
Thanks. Things aren’t always as they appear. We’re accepting it, sure. But it can’t be any other way so we have only two choices - accept it or not. The first bring peace, the second difficulty. Easy choice, if you ask me.
And this is causing a bit of a challenge with things - like help we had coming and the time-off I’ve taken for my business. Yet, everything will work out - as it always does.
Mark,
Oh, it already is. My kids have been sensing the coming change for weeks and have already begun responding. My wife and I see it as just another piece of the family pie.
Home,
Thanks. Then we’ll explore it together and see where the topics lead us.
Laser,
Thanks. Really, it wasn’t so much of a choice once we got really informed. Modern medicine is great at some things - emergency procedures especially. And nature is good at a lot of things too. For instance, did you know that once western medicine entered Cambodia and Laos in the 40’s infant mortality rates tripled as opposed to midwife-supported birth. Just an interesting fact.
I feel fortunate we have the chance to take advantage of the best of what nature offers and have the support of one of the top medical systems in the world at the University of Michigan.
MorganLighter,
Thank you. I’ll post photos as I can.
Seems like your miscalculation was something that scared you for awhile until you figured it out, I think all of us would be if we were in your shoes. I wanna know how long before the little munchkin is guest blogging for us
Really looking forward to your wife’s blog
Personally, I’ve always wondered where doctors get off second-guessing when conception happened.
Anyway, I sympathize with your choice for a home birth. My girlfriend’s experience with the hospital was appalling. The consequence is that we’re opting for home birth for the second, and she’s even training to be a doula as we speak.
Hi Dawud,
Glad to hear all is well. We had our last two babies at home. We also love to wait until birth to find out if our blessing is a boy or girl.
Hope the next few days go by quickly and that your wife has a gentle birth.
Maura
So has your new baby arrived?
Seems like your’re really busy these days!
My wife and I miscalculated in the other direction, I was 12 hours from missing the birth, and I just got lucky. (Really lucky as it is one of the highlights of my life.)
Also, we had a home birth. I’m the hippie, and my wife hates hospitals. It was a great experience.
It’s nice that you have thought to take full advantage of nature. But just take care. Hope everything goes off as you have planned. Just be positive and I’m sure everything will be perfect.
Good luck mate. We’ve got 3 girls aged 1,3 and 7 - and I can tell you 3 are a handful. Anyway - best of luck with everything.
A friend of ours opted for a mid-wife and a home water birth. Similar to your story, although they are very environmentally conscious, they couldn’t be type cast as 60s era hippies. He’s always said this was the best thing him and his wife did and they never regretted it. For the child, it was going from one water environment to another.
You have this softness to your writing that I find very endearing, not knowing you very well except through your writing I hope that’s OK to say. With one child out of the house and the other an active HS - er,I appreciate the reminder of the latter trimester the amazing movement and the whole magic of the pending date of birth, now or 30 days from now it’s just pretty darn cool. I agree with others who have said your involvement is really really admirable. I came today to see if it was a boy or girl,isn’t that funny - I was wondering — even again not knowing you I have had these safe, swift delivery thoughts for you and yours.
The wish still holds.
Mother Earth aka Karen Hanrahan
http://www.bestwellnessconsultant.com
Dawud
I love your story, and in if you were the way you are now in my generation, you would have been considered a granola chewing hippie. Now, thirty years later, all that is now mainstream- thanks to people like me who was a real hippie way back when.
I hope you save this blog for your new baby to read someday. He or she will love it!
Kaya
I´m also impressed with your being there for your wife and kids, that´s great to see and a rare thing to find in a guy these days. (I was lucky enough to find another one!)
It´s great to hear that you are planning a home birth. I wanted one with both my sons, but the first had to be induced (3 weeks late and pre-eclampsia) and with the second, he came nearly a month late and the midwife had to go in for a surgery she had been postponing to deliver him. So he was born that night (of course!) at the hospital, too.
Hope all goes well and look forward to hearing about the new little one!
Well, that explains the lack of updates now, doesn’t it?
We have two kids and my wife is really pushing for a third. They’re kind of fun to have around, aren’t they?
Best of luck to both you and your new one.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am going through something similar and it helps to hear.
Dawud,
I see most others are letting you know how touched and inspired they are by your post; as a mom of three who experienced the getting pg while nursing, I myself was nostalgically amused by your story to the point of laughing out loud as I remembered how it went.
Family life is never dull and is always full of surprises.
My third child, in fact, was my only planned pregnancy. We decided it was the day to “try” and by the end of that week we had a positive EPT. THAT child, now nearly 20, has always been on time and in a hurry, just like his conception.
Blessings and good wishes,
Katie
Dawud,
Hope things are going well. The last few days of waiting can be trying.
We had homebirths for both #5 and #6 and it was wonderful. We also wait to find out if our blessings are boys or girls.
May your wife have a smooth and safe birth experience.
Take care,
~Maura
My 1st child was almost 2 weeks overdue but our doctor was not concerned because there was enough fluids around her. The minute those fluid levels dropped on the other hand, we were whisked away to delivery. We had wanted to do a home delivery but honestly, the wife was not prepared….Or maybe it was me! Whomever it was, we are planning on going that route on our second. I hope you guys have a beautiful child that comes out safe and sound!
New member and a new chapter in life.
Me and my wife plan on having kids soon. My sister has kids and says they are not as expensive as one thinks (at least before they are teenagers).
Internet Promoter,
Yeah, as we approached two weeks overdue, we got concerned. Which is why we started to look more closely as to what was going on. Now, we’re a week late from our real - and yes, real - due date.
Guest blogging…maybe sooner than you think.
Living Room,
Me too, actually. It’ll take a bit of time. And we’ll soon announce a joint blogging project together that will begin sooner.
CT,
We’ve been fortunate to have two home births already. God willing, we’ll have a third. Truthfully, both of us wouldn’t want it any other way.
Maura,
Thanks. I’ll pass your well-wishes on to my wife.
Living Room,
Still waiting - as of 11/9.
Advise,
Glad to hear you made it. Thank I work from home and have little reason to travel these days.
Laser,
We’re way past plans now. But flexibility is one of the joys of being alive.
Acopic,
Yeah, we’re wondering how three will be as well. Especially having two in diapers still. Gonna be different, that’s for sure.
Thanks for your caring.
coated,
Having been through two home births - and one water birth - already, I really can’t imagine it any other way. Pray that we get to have our third at home (in the water, hopefully).
Mother Earth,
Thank you so much for your kind remarks. I just share who I am and what I know. And when people meet me, I only hope my writing has been true to who I am.
Kaya,
Thanks. I don’t think of either of us as being hippies at all. Rather I think of us as being conscious, aware and spiritually-centered people who try to live what we know. It just so happens that much of what we know deals with human development, human potential, spirituality, healing and the like. Yet we’re also at peace with the modern world and it’s advantages as well.
And I will save this post for later…thanks for the idea.
Gensis,
Thanks for sharing your experiences. It’ll be interesting to see what happens with this little one.
J.D.,
Thanks. There’s more, of course…
laura,
Interesting…love to talk about it sometime. Feel free to contact us.
Katie,
Thanks. Our little almost-four-year-old has been in a hurry to learn everything she can right from birth. Amazing…
Maura,
Again, thanks.
Arizona,
Thanks. We’re not concerned. My wife is just ready…
Myspace,
You got it.
Paul,
We’ve found the same thing. But we’re also pretty down to earth sort of people. Neither my wife nor I need much. We enjoy experiences far more than things. My kids have definitely begun to follow suit.
Kaya Singer that is a great idea you had for DM to save this blog to show his child later! And you were the genuine article? The original hippie? How cool!!!
Living,
Thanks. I thought is was a good idea too.
We’re still waiting on this little miracle - pun intended.
Still waiting!! I think its amazing that you have home births and can make it through the pregnancy without an ultrasound! I don’t think I could hold out that long. Good luck and congratulations!
Dawud,
I hope you let us know when the delivery is safely over. I know you will have other things on your mind, but if you even took a minute to drop us a line, I know I’d appreciate it!
Hi Dawud,
What an amazing time you are having. I have two kids, and we kind of knew the date on both of them, but everything happened so fast and not the way we thought it would, and not the date either.
My experience tells me that no matter what you think, it won`t happen that way
Best wishes to all of you!
I am posting this on the 12th November. By now I hope that the excitement would be over and that we can look forward to having you back with all the new subjects to blog about. From the comments you will see that a lot of people are concerned and wishing you well. All the best.
Hi Dawud,
I heard a rumour there’s a baby Miracle on the way, so popped over, and have been entranced by your post and everyone’s supportive comments.
Both our babies were about 2 weeks ‘late’, and I thoroughly enjoyed that extra time with them ‘inside’!
I love the way you & your wife share your pregnancy and breastfeeding.
I hope you all have a joyful birth, and look forward to hearing more news.
Don’t fret over your calculations being off. I had a doctor and an ultrasound but the due date was still predictated wrong!!
Your wife should be able to just tell that all is alright, and the baby knows when to make the big debut.
Since it is almost mid-month I hope the new addition has made an appearance, and all went well.
We look forward to hearing of your new parenthood.
operating agreement
Congratulations on your upcoming child. We had our last child with a mid-wife and it went great. My wife is pregnant again and we are seeing a mid-wife again. It is a MUCH better experience than the hospital.
Also our last one was about 2 weeks late, but since he weighed 10lbs we don’t think we miscalculated the due date
Hope all goes well.
PS. We do the oranic thing as well…
Yes, it does pay to be flexible. Especially if you have 7 kids like my wife and I do. I wish you the beswih ournew one.
Aloha Jeff
Hi Dawud, it’s now Nov 16. How things are going there? How is your wife feeling?
Best wishes to you and your family. Good luck there and hang on tight
Intresting article..made gud reading.!!
Even a minute late in a pregnancy is overwhelming- I love the way you have approached parenting, birth and overall health and wellbeing.
Not sure what you were apologizing for- what you spoke of is truly the most natural and common and beautiful of events and creation-energy.
Wishing you and your family many blessings- a new baby is such a lovely little miracle.
Xox
Lisa
Congatulations on your new baby. Wow two weeks difference. I am happy you caught on early. What a great last name for a baby. Hope s/he is a miracle in your life.
May your child be happy, healty, smart, and a good child to you. I feel her having to deal with any extra day of pregnancy as being intolerable.
I am sure by now your wife must have delivered. Please share with us what was the experiences.
Great Story!
I always wanted a home birth, but was too scared.
If anything every went wrong, I wouldn’t be able to make it to a hospital on time(nearest hospital is 45 minutes away).
I was overdue with all of my kids and I had super fast labors(barely made it to the hospital).
Good Luck!
Wishing you both a wonderful birth! I had my third kiddo at home. We tore out the little bathtub and the hubby installed a large garden tub. Labor was heaven in the water! I ended up giving birth on the bed. Fortunately, I was able to attend a friend’s waterbirth a year later and it was just beautiful to be a part of that special time for my friend.
I’m looking forward to your birth story here!
Heh, good luck, mate.
Congrats on the newborn!
Thanks to everyone for your well wishes, caring and concerns.
I could keep answering your questions here, but how about we start a new conversation with new information on my latest post, Catch This…Dawud Plays Midwife.
congrats.really good
Better late than never.
Wishing you all the best from the bottom of my heart - as well as the middle and top.
tailor,
Thanks
MorganLighter,
I agree. Thanks so much.
Oh my God,that’s an interesting story. I feel bad both for you and your wife,most specially for your wife.Im pretty sure both of you were very excited!
In my case,my second baby came out 3 weeks premature but I really dont know…really!
All I remembered is that im not suppose to give birth(no pain/contractions)at that time yet but i had a fever and the doctor/nurse just decided to induce me…worse thing,I had to stay overnight in the delivery room(alone) and wait for the baby to come out,eventually my baby came out the next day(after 15 hours with three hours of pain…)I was thankful that my baby was just fine.
erica,
Sounds like you had quite the experience too. Thank God everything worked out for both of us.
I guess 3 is lucky number:)
best time,
So true. Buy what will it mean when we have four?
Im very happy it worked out! Afterwards its worth all the pain:)
BR,
John
Very nice post! I am happy to see everything went well. Having a child means so much. It brings happiness and joy. Congratulation, i can’t wait to have my first child