Comments on: What Do You Do When A Commenter Just Isn’t Hearing You?

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By: Dawud Miracle

Dawud Miracle — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:53:40 +0000

Krista,
You’re welcome. I find it the only effective and compassionate way to communicate…listen first, then respond. The question is how to cross the communication gap when what I say may not be what others hear… Thoughts?

By: Krista

Krista — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 18:43:38 +0000

I agree with your ideas. Hearing your readers first and then responding is always a nice and professional way to approach comments. Thanks for the read!!

By: Dawud Miracle

Dawud Miracle — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 12:46:40 +0000

MorganLighter,
I think it’s all in how you handle things. The best way, I’ve found, is don’t add fuel to the fire. Try to help put the fire out, rather. There doesn’t have to be a fight…

Carol,
Yeah, so much can get lost in an email.

I blog a lot and I comment a lot. Yet I don’t really deal with being flamed. It’s not a concern of mine, really. I just share what I love, what I know and what I feel can help people and then engage you in a conversation around it. If someone wants a debate, I’ll debate. I just don’t want things to turn personal or be destructive.

And I think all of us could do in following Liz Strauss’ one rule: Be Nice!

By: Carol L. Skolnick, Clear Life Solutions

Carol L. Skolnick, Clear Life Solutions — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 21:12:22 +0000

Hi Dawud,

Your question is a great excuse for a little self-inquiry!

If someone flames me, and it hurts, they’re right…but only according to me. What stressful belief does their criticism bring up for me that I would be reactive to it? So it can be seen as a gift. Not that I encourage flaming! While people are certainly entitled to their opinions, engaging in back-and-forth with flamers doesn’t enhance my life and work, so I don’t bother. That’s why I ask commenters to register in order to comment. It cuts down on the hit-and-run as well as the spam.

In honest and mature discourse (which I’m sure everyone here aims for), if I feel misunderstood, and I’ve done my best to communicate more clearly, I can ask myself why this is so important. I have noticed, sometimes, that my “need” to be understood can be a disguise for the much more insidious, “I’m right and you’re wrong.”

In the case of colleagues, clients, friends, family, I love your idea of picking up the phone. There are nuances of speech that occasionally don’t translate well in emails or comment columns.

Great content here, Dawud, always. In your posts and in the comments too.

By: MorganLighter

MorganLighter — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 14:43:17 +0000

Dawud – Great article.
I have seldom found myself being badgered by a commenter, however, as a commenter I have run into a few instances wherein the author misunderstood my words.
Usually this was because the author was from a different country and did not quite understand my usage of words – after reexplaining myself, we found ourselves on the same page and all was well.
When stumbling across an article which contains egregious errors, (I never point out their typos, misspelling or improper usage of a word) I inform the author of his mistake and cite references that back up my statement, all the while trying to be as innocuous as possible.
Should there come a time when someone starts taking uncalled for pot-shots, on their site, at my family of fellow bloggers or at me, well, I suppose I should use the 5 points listed in your piece, but there just might be bloodshed.
Better call 911.

By: Entreprenews of the Week -- Young Go Getter

Entreprenews of the Week -- Young Go Getter — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 03:35:51 +0000

[...] What Do You Do When A Commenter Just Isn’t Hearing You? You’ve done it before. You quickly scan an article and in less than a few seconds you already know how you’re going to tell the author how she hasn’t the slightest clue what she’s talking about. This is how you deal with evil commenters like that, besides Douche Baggiing them of course. [...]

By: Dawud Miracle

Dawud Miracle — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 12:33:15 +0000

Amrit,
You’re welcome.

Website Design,
Sure. And it works…

Wendy,
I, too, enjoy open, heated debate. But if someone just wants to argue and not find common ground, I don’t see how they benefit the conversation or my readers.

So at first I’d make a few attempts to bring to find common ground with the commenter. Initially I’d assume that we were just missing each other. But if after a few attempts we weren’t getting anywhere, I’d likely shut down their comments.

Heated debate and conversation are one thing. But arguing is another. And I just don’t want to spend time arguing with someone on my blog. And since I’m the owner, why would I waste my time with someone who doesn’t want to at least agree to disagree?

By: Wendy Piersall

Wendy Piersall — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 19:32:03 +0000

OK, so can I throw a question into the mix?

What if not only does the commenter simply not understand you at all, but they also start jumping to erroneous conclusions and posting it on their own blog?

I’m all for conversation, even disagreeable and heated conversation as long as it is conversation and not abusive or facts (grossly) misrepresnted. But when people start posting lies, or suggesting that I am lying (which you know me well enough to know that I wouldn’t do that), what next steps would you take?!

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Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:50:24 +0000

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Thu, 20 Sep 2007 04:27:55 +0000

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By: Website Design

Website Design — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 17:01:57 +0000

Pick up the phone. Now there’s one I would not have thought of. Great advice.

By: Amrit Hallan - HowToPlaza

Amrit Hallan - HowToPlaza — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 15:54:36 +0000

Hi Dawud.

Thanks for dropping by.

By: Dawud Miracle

Dawud Miracle — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 12:31:35 +0000

Clive,
You’ve got me chuckling. I think it’s a great solution.