“Intrapersonal” is one of Howard Gardner’s 7 types of intelligence. After a long time of trying to teach people to get more in tune with themselves, I’ve decided that there might be something innate going on, but that it’s also societal. I remember reading as an adolescent that introspection was unhealthy…we should always be oriented to the external world. Introspection meant you were neurotic and too wrapped up in yourself. That didn’t make sense to me. If you’re curious instead of judgmental, it gives you the ability to integrate your life…to align your actions with your values. I cured myself of a phobia about dentists when I was 16 years old by using self-hypnosis. From then on I’ve never felt stuck. If my life wasn’t working I knew I had the power to change things.

One of the traits I list for stress-hardy people (http://stresstopower.com/Stress%20Hardiness.html) is:

“They take responsibility for their mental programming, their emotions, and their actions. If they have ineffective ways of thinking and behaving, they evaluate them and make appropriate changes.”

Most people wouldn’t agree to that, I’m sure. But as we’ve said many times, we can’t resonate with everyone. I, for one, am not willing to settle for less.

Today’s post at my StressToPower blog (http://stresstopower.com/blog/.....ur-losses/) is about mourning our losses, which ties in with this conversation, I think. Tomorrow’s post at Cheerful Monk (cheerfulmonk.com) will be entitled “It’s a Magical World.” It will touch on the subject of reconnecting with childlike wonder, of seeing the world with fresh eyes.

Thanks for the great discussion!

I love Tony’s blog. Thanks for the great link – which I made live.

He says
* A setback is one of those inevitabilities of life, when things don’t go according to plan.
* A failure is when you give up, or don’t try, when you still want to reach your goal.

He goes on to say how to deal with setbacks. I think that was well put.

Jean,
Absolutely. Do you think that’s always possible?

LaurenMarie,
I think that’s the pitfall…letting our own definitions of success be influenced, or tainted, by other’s. And I agree that knowing yourself is the real key to success. It’s like a secret that few really know because they’re chasing fame and fortune. Yet look at famous people today – do they look any happier than you or I? I mean, really look. Not when they’re on the red carpet. Look behind their eyes and what do you see. Peace, contentment, joy? Or something less than that?

I have always thought that the definition of success is very personal and can greatly vary. I think the people who feel the most successful are the ones who know themselves best and are doing what they love (money != success). I have never thought about it in the way you presented here, Dawud. I like it! Thank you! I wrote about this very thing (wanting to be perfect and to know everything before beginning) in my first blog post. I came to realize there is too much to learn, I’ll never remember it all, and much of it probably won’t even apply to me!

Jean’s attitude is so great, “What part of this worked? What did I learn from this? What would I do differently next time?” One of the keys to having this attitude is to be comfortable with yourself and have the ability to accept yourself. We can be so accepting, tolerant and understanding of others, but we are 100 times the critic of ourselves.

I agree, being honest about our feelings, looking at them deeply and dealing with them is often an important part of the process. I’m just saying don’t let our feelings blur our view of reality. Separate the two. We need all the information we can get.

Yes, to live in childlike wonder over life. One of my best friends passed away a couple of years ago. He was an international planning consultant who lived in wonder right up until cancer took him at 79. And he absolutely charmed the heck out of everyone. Definitely one of my best memories of him is how many hours we spent laughing our butts off together and simply enjoying being together.

Thanks, Dawud.

Stuart

Stuart

In some ways, that’s what Dave Schoof’s work is all about. I’m not talking about some mumbo-jumbo revisiting of our childhood. But rather remembering that even at 54 we need to experiment with our life. It’s the only way, I feel, we can truly find peace. If we’re not full of peace, beauty and love we need to keep experimenting with new experiences – and letting go of old ones – until we are….we need to keep learning.