As most of you know, my wife and I have been expecting our third child any day now. By our calculations, she’s about 12 days overdue.
Being 12 days overdue would alarm a lot of doctors. But we’re not working with a doctor. As with our first two children, we’re planning a home birth supported by a midwife.
Now my wife and I aren’t granola crunching, tree hugging hippie-types – though she had that stretch in her life before we met. But we do tend to live as natural of a life as we can. We eat almost entirely organic foods and free-range meats. We try to stay away from harmful chemicals, not only in foods, but in the other products that touch our lives as well.
We think of ourselves as conscious parent who create structure and set boundaries for our kids, while remembering that their consciousness is important as well. We had planned to breastfeed all our kids until the age of 2 (which is quite normal) but had stop with both our kids because we got pregnant with the next.
So when it comes to pregnancy and birth, we trust the natural gestation and labor process. We welcome modern medicine where it’s needed, but don’t lean on it like a crutch. If we need medical care, we’ll take it. And luckily, with our first two kids, we’ve not.
One thing we haven’t done with any of our pregnancies is get an ultrasound. Ultrasound can tell you many things – from the health to the sex of the growing baby. And it often can tell us with great accuracy what week of the pregnancy we’re in (maybe you can guess what comes next).
Usually, the duration of pregnancy is based on the number of weeks from the woman’s last period (sorry guys). From that we figure that within 14 days of the last period is when that last ovulation took place and likely when we got pregnant.
So considering that we’re a couple of weeks ‘late’ my wife and I sat down with the calendar she keeps of her cycle and decided to look at what could be going on. Without all the intimate detail, it appears we’ve made a mistake in the timing of when we got pregnant.
Now this might sound odd, but it’s less rare that you might think. Even with all the technology of modern medicine doctors frequently get this wrong. One other huge variable is breastfeeding – which throws the woman’s cycle all over the place. While a woman is breastfeeding, she can have cycles of varying lengths and even skip multiple months.
So what does this all mean?
Well, my wife was breastfeeding when we got pregnant. That means she could have easily ovulated later than 14 days. And with other, rather intimate, signs that happened shortly after – and a few weeks later than when we thought we got pregnant – it clearly appears that we miscalculated the date we got pregnant. Which means…
We miscalculated the date we’re due.
Oops. Once we sat down with all the information we had – including what science knows about getting pregnant and gestation – everything fell into place. Now some of the signs we were experiencing during the past few months make sense – as they didn’t before. And some of the physical signs make sense as well – like how engage the baby is to the birth canal.
So it appears our actual due date is during the first week of November, rather than the second week of October – as we thought.
This means, I’m getting back to work until she goes into labor. It also means that I’ll be taking my paternity leave a little later than I thought. So even though Wendy announced that I was officially on paternity leave, I’m actually not. Not her fault. Not really even our fault. Just the way nature has it set up. We just didn’t read the signs correctly.
So you should see me writing a bit more over the next week or so…and then I’ll take my leave.
I’ve tried pretty hard not to be too graphic or give too many personal details about the process. If I’ve gone a little overboard in my descriptions, I’m sorry. And, this is a topic we know a ton about…so I’m happy to share anything I can about this amazing process.
As always, life is an adventure.
OH, you’re poor wife – to think she was almost done, only to find that she wasn’t?! The last month of a pregnancy is the WORST. I feel so bad for both of you! 😉
Ah, but it will still end in a little Miracle!
😉
Wow, what an amazing story. I think you handled “the details” in your post just fine. All the best to you and your wife as you anticipate this new birth. And yes, life is an adventure. You could even say it is a miracle!
Thanks for keeping us informed. I, too, find the whole thing fascinating. As usual in life, it pays to be flexible. We’re all rooting for you. 🙂
Wendy,
She’s actually doing pretty well. Being her third time pregnant, she knows what to expect. Plus, even with not being able to get comfortable and her lack of sleep, she really loves the last trimester because the baby is so active.
Ray,
Thanks. We’re pretty informed and fairly open people, so I wanted to be sure I didn’t say too much.
Jean,
Yes, it does!
Douglas,
Without a doubt. Really, I can’t wait to meet this little one.
But Dawud, what about those of us who *like* graphic details? 😉
Dwaud, I want to commend you for being so actively involved in your wife’s pregnancy. This is not generally the rule.
Also, I almost fell off my chair laughing when I read “we” planned to breastfeed. However, I know what you meant and it is refreshing to hear how devoted you and your wife are to the family unit. Another thing that is on the decline.
Sorry Dawud, please accept my apology for the typo. My fingers were just too fast.
I look forward to great news come the first week of November.
I really enjoy the content of your blog. It’s an amazing story.
Love & Gratitude,
Tina
Think Simple. Be Decisive
It made fascinating reading. We too had a similar experience with later than expected delivery of our son. All went well eventually. Here is wishing both of you all the very best.
When you can, it would be nice if you could write more about your life style which also appeals to me. Thank you.
It is inspiring to hear how flexible you are with the change. I guess I’m even more inspired about how flexible your WIFE seems to be with it. I’d love to see her do a guest post and hear her viewpoint!
Truthfully, I’m happy for the delay, since I am reaping the benefit of your tutelage sooner rather than later! I’m sending your wife and the newest Miracle my gratitude.
Lots of love to you and your family!
It truly is an adventure! Soon, it will be soon!
It’s highly commendable Dawud to live a life like yours. In todays times it’s tough to have a home delivery and not to go for ultrasound.
My good wishes to both of you’ll.
No need for a second blog. This will do fine whenever the mood takes you. All the three topics are not blogged enough about!
Congratulations on your upcoming new child.
You are so blessed and we wish all of you the best.
Looking forward to updates and pictures.
All the best –
Seems like your miscalculation was something that scared you for awhile until you figured it out, I think all of us would be if we were in your shoes. I wanna know how long before the little munchkin is guest blogging for us 😀
Personally, I’ve always wondered where doctors get off second-guessing when conception happened.
Anyway, I sympathize with your choice for a home birth. My girlfriend’s experience with the hospital was appalling. The consequence is that we’re opting for home birth for the second, and she’s even training to be a doula as we speak.
Hi Dawud,
Glad to hear all is well. We had our last two babies at home. We also love to wait until birth to find out if our blessing is a boy or girl.
Hope the next few days go by quickly and that your wife has a gentle birth.
Maura
My wife and I miscalculated in the other direction, I was 12 hours from missing the birth, and I just got lucky. (Really lucky as it is one of the highlights of my life.)
Also, we had a home birth. I’m the hippie, and my wife hates hospitals. It was a great experience.
It’s nice that you have thought to take full advantage of nature. But just take care. Hope everything goes off as you have planned. Just be positive and I’m sure everything will be perfect.
Good luck mate. We’ve got 3 girls aged 1,3 and 7 – and I can tell you 3 are a handful. Anyway – best of luck with everything.
A friend of ours opted for a mid-wife and a home water birth. Similar to your story, although they are very environmentally conscious, they couldn’t be type cast as 60s era hippies. He’s always said this was the best thing him and his wife did and they never regretted it. For the child, it was going from one water environment to another.
You have this softness to your writing that I find very endearing, not knowing you very well except through your writing I hope that’s OK to say. With one child out of the house and the other an active HS – er,I appreciate the reminder of the latter trimester the amazing movement and the whole magic of the pending date of birth, now or 30 days from now it’s just pretty darn cool. I agree with others who have said your involvement is really really admirable. I came today to see if it was a boy or girl,isn’t that funny – I was wondering — even again not knowing you I have had these safe, swift delivery thoughts for you and yours.
The wish still holds.
Mother Earth aka Karen Hanrahan
http://www.bestwellnessconsultant.com
Dawud
I love your story, and in if you were the way you are now in my generation, you would have been considered a granola chewing hippie. Now, thirty years later, all that is now mainstream- thanks to people like me who was a real hippie way back when.
I hope you save this blog for your new baby to read someday. He or she will love it!
Kaya
I´m also impressed with your being there for your wife and kids, that´s great to see and a rare thing to find in a guy these days. (I was lucky enough to find another one!)
It´s great to hear that you are planning a home birth. I wanted one with both my sons, but the first had to be induced (3 weeks late and pre-eclampsia) and with the second, he came nearly a month late and the midwife had to go in for a surgery she had been postponing to deliver him. So he was born that night (of course!) at the hospital, too.
Hope all goes well and look forward to hearing about the new little one!
Well, that explains the lack of updates now, doesn’t it? 🙂
We have two kids and my wife is really pushing for a third. They’re kind of fun to have around, aren’t they?
Best of luck to both you and your new one.
Thanks for sharing your story. I am going through something similar and it helps to hear.
Dawud,
I see most others are letting you know how touched and inspired they are by your post; as a mom of three who experienced the getting pg while nursing, I myself was nostalgically amused by your story to the point of laughing out loud as I remembered how it went.
Family life is never dull and is always full of surprises.
My third child, in fact, was my only planned pregnancy. We decided it was the day to “try” and by the end of that week we had a positive EPT. THAT child, now nearly 20, has always been on time and in a hurry, just like his conception.
Blessings and good wishes,
Katie
Dawud,
Hope things are going well. The last few days of waiting can be trying.
We had homebirths for both #5 and #6 and it was wonderful. We also wait to find out if our blessings are boys or girls.
May your wife have a smooth and safe birth experience.
Take care,
~Maura
My 1st child was almost 2 weeks overdue but our doctor was not concerned because there was enough fluids around her. The minute those fluid levels dropped on the other hand, we were whisked away to delivery. We had wanted to do a home delivery but honestly, the wife was not prepared….Or maybe it was me! Whomever it was, we are planning on going that route on our second. I hope you guys have a beautiful child that comes out safe and sound!
Me and my wife plan on having kids soon. My sister has kids and says they are not as expensive as one thinks (at least before they are teenagers).
New member and a new chapter in life.
Living,
Thanks. I thought is was a good idea too.
We’re still waiting on this little miracle – pun intended.
Dawud,
I hope you let us know when the delivery is safely over. I know you will have other things on your mind, but if you even took a minute to drop us a line, I know I’d appreciate it!
Still waiting!! I think its amazing that you have home births and can make it through the pregnancy without an ultrasound! I don’t think I could hold out that long. Good luck and congratulations!
Hi Dawud,
What an amazing time you are having. I have two kids, and we kind of knew the date on both of them, but everything happened so fast and not the way we thought it would, and not the date either.
My experience tells me that no matter what you think, it won`t happen that way 🙂
Best wishes to all of you!
I am posting this on the 12th November. By now I hope that the excitement would be over and that we can look forward to having you back with all the new subjects to blog about. From the comments you will see that a lot of people are concerned and wishing you well. All the best.
Hi Dawud,
I heard a rumour there’s a baby Miracle on the way, so popped over, and have been entranced by your post and everyone’s supportive comments.
Both our babies were about 2 weeks ‘late’, and I thoroughly enjoyed that extra time with them ‘inside’!
I love the way you & your wife share your pregnancy and breastfeeding.
I hope you all have a joyful birth, and look forward to hearing more news.
Don’t fret over your calculations being off. I had a doctor and an ultrasound but the due date was still predictated wrong!!
Your wife should be able to just tell that all is alright, and the baby knows when to make the big debut.
Since it is almost mid-month I hope the new addition has made an appearance, and all went well.
We look forward to hearing of your new parenthood.
operating agreement
Congratulations on your upcoming child. We had our last child with a mid-wife and it went great. My wife is pregnant again and we are seeing a mid-wife again. It is a MUCH better experience than the hospital.
Also our last one was about 2 weeks late, but since he weighed 10lbs we don’t think we miscalculated the due date 😉
Hope all goes well.
PS. We do the oranic thing as well…
Yes, it does pay to be flexible. Especially if you have 7 kids like my wife and I do. I wish you the beswih ournew one.
Aloha Jeff
Hi Dawud, it’s now Nov 16. How things are going there? How is your wife feeling?
Best wishes to you and your family. Good luck there and hang on tight 😉
Intresting article..made gud reading.!!
Even a minute late in a pregnancy is overwhelming- I love the way you have approached parenting, birth and overall health and wellbeing.
Not sure what you were apologizing for- what you spoke of is truly the most natural and common and beautiful of events and creation-energy.
Wishing you and your family many blessings- a new baby is such a lovely little miracle.
Xox
Lisa
Congatulations on your new baby. Wow two weeks difference. I am happy you caught on early. What a great last name for a baby. Hope s/he is a miracle in your life.
I am sure by now your wife must have delivered. Please share with us what was the experiences.
May your child be happy, healty, smart, and a good child to you. I feel her having to deal with any extra day of pregnancy as being intolerable.
Great Story!
I always wanted a home birth, but was too scared.
If anything every went wrong, I wouldn’t be able to make it to a hospital on time(nearest hospital is 45 minutes away).
I was overdue with all of my kids and I had super fast labors(barely made it to the hospital).
Good Luck!
Wishing you both a wonderful birth! I had my third kiddo at home. We tore out the little bathtub and the hubby installed a large garden tub. Labor was heaven in the water! I ended up giving birth on the bed. Fortunately, I was able to attend a friend’s waterbirth a year later and it was just beautiful to be a part of that special time for my friend.
I’m looking forward to your birth story here! 🙂
Heh, good luck, mate.
Congrats on the newborn!
Thanks to everyone for your well wishes, caring and concerns.
I could keep answering your questions here, but how about we start a new conversation with new information on my latest post, Catch This…Dawud Plays Midwife.
congrats.really good
Better late than never.
Wishing you all the best from the bottom of my heart – as well as the middle and top.
tailor,
Thanks
MorganLighter,
I agree. Thanks so much.
Oh my God,that’s an interesting story. I feel bad both for you and your wife,most specially for your wife.Im pretty sure both of you were very excited!
In my case,my second baby came out 3 weeks premature but I really dont know…really!
All I remembered is that im not suppose to give birth(no pain/contractions)at that time yet but i had a fever and the doctor/nurse just decided to induce me…worse thing,I had to stay overnight in the delivery room(alone) and wait for the baby to come out,eventually my baby came out the next day(after 15 hours with three hours of pain…)I was thankful that my baby was just fine.
erica,
Sounds like you had quite the experience too. Thank God everything worked out for both of us.
I guess 3 is lucky number:)
best time,
So true. Buy what will it mean when we have four?
Im very happy it worked out! Afterwards its worth all the pain:)
BR,
John
Very nice post! I am happy to see everything went well. Having a child means so much. It brings happiness and joy. Congratulation, i can’t wait to have my first child 🙂
I really enjoy the content of this story.Its so funny.And at same time I feel very bad both of you and your wife.Goodluck!!
Wow, what an amazing story. It brings happiness and joy having a child means. I think you handled “the details” in your post just fine. All the best to you and your wife as you anticipate this new birth. And yes, life is an adventure. You could even say it is a miracle!
Congrats! Hope your wife gave birth to your 3rd child safely! Well, Me and my future wife are now expecting for our 1st baby (even though its not according to our plan yet)… Hope it will be a healthy one.
I think all of us should show some generosity as you have shown already. I have 6 blogs and all of them are do follow. Perhaps this is the most effective way to have good traffic and loyal users.
I give Kathy a hundred percent for what she’s just been writing. Thank you so much for doing that.
Great story, very nice post. I belive this is something we all must be informed about. Early pregnancy is important as any part of pregnancy, so we must take care. Mom to be should learn more about early signs of pregnancy because if you don’t you may miss the early sings of pregnancy and not know you are pregnant, for weeks sometimes months.