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The Four Agreements of Conversational Blogging

I love to read. Yet being a solopreneur, a husband, a father, a constructrion worker (I’ve just gutted our kitchen), a friend, etc – it’s hard to find time to read as much as I’d like.

So Doug Karr helped me out yesterday when he posted about the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz & Don Jose Luis Ruiz.

From the book’s back cover: The Four Agreements…“reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, the Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom: true happiness and love”

Sounds pretty powerful, huh? So, then, what are the Four Agreements?

  1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
  2. Don't Take Anything Personally
  3. Don't Make Assumptions
  4. Always Do Your Best

Of course, this is great advice for life in general. It’s great advice for marriage, parenting and all relationships.

Which is why I immediately thought about it as a conversational blogger publisher. For me, each are essential for creating conversation and building relationships with you…

  1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
    Simple, mean what you say. Don’t lie, cheat or steal. And above all, be honest – even when it hurts a little.
  2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
    I do my best to share myself through my blog. But truly you’ll only really know me when we build a personal, long-term friendship.
  3. Don’t Make Assumptions
    I try not to make assumptions about anyone who comments on my blog. Rather, I look at each comment as a chance to get to know a person a little better.
  4. Always Do Your Best
    I don’t always write absolutely killer posts – I know that. But even the ones that aren’t interesting, I still tried to do the best I could in the moment – and I’m happy with the effort.

Aren’t these great? Simple, yet powerful concepts.

I’ve not (yet) read the book. I may. Though there’s many books already on my reading list. If you’re interested in the book, here are some reviews I found:

So you know a bit of what I think. What I’d really like to know is what you think. How do you see each/any of the four agreements as essential (or nonessential) to being a conversational blogger?

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  1. Hi Dawud

    Thanks for focusing on the Four Agreements. I read it years ago and found it to be a simple template for living an evolving life. I think the four agreements provide a beautiful framework for bloggers…er, online conversationalists. By following the agreements – or doing our best! – we can be pretty darn sure that we’re going to be offering our readers something of value, even if that’s just a safe environment to come and join in the conversation!

  2. Ed,

    Thanks. I’m pretty sure I’ve run across this book a few times, but never picked it up. It was great to have Doug lay it out for me. And when I saw the Four Agreements, I immediately thought about the conversations we’re all having on our blogs. How could I resist writing about it???

  3. Adam Kayce : Monk At Work says:

    I haven’t read it yet, either… just skimmed it in a bookstore once.

    I’m hoping it’s one of those things where the writing brings out a depth that goes way beyond the titles, because just looking at the four ‘agreements’ leaves me thinking, “yeah, so what?”

    Of course I agree with them; they’re just a regular part of being an upstanding individual. I guess I just don’t see anything all that spectacular about them, know what I mean?

  4. Adam,

    I’m with you. Not too much depth for me in the agreements themselves. However, they can be extrapolated on into a deeper and deeper look at how we move through the world, don’t you think?

  5. In my experience, it’s like anything that seems “too” simple. That very simplicity is deceiving. Let’s face it… life is actually pretty simple. It’s just the most of us tend to make it far more complicated than it needs to be. So having a book that reminds us of the simple part is a good thing! It’s sort of like that Robert Fulgham book “Everything I need to know I learned in kindergarden.” It’s really true!

  6. Ed,

    I agree. I’ve found that most concepts of spirituality and self-growth are pretty simple. The depth and difficulty comes with the moment to moment living of it.

  7. Celso Jaquez says:

    Considering that no one seems interested in the validity of this man’s sources, and seeing how there is not one scintilla of Toltec writing in existience, AND that we know less about them than even the Teotihuacanos, whom they where descended from, I think everyone should calm down about the self serving manifesto. Being the grandson, un hijo del maiz, of Yucatec parents, I am always made suspicous of one profiting from “knowledge”only he seems to be privy to.

  8. Celso,
    I feel like I’ve walked into the middle of some conversation I don’t understand. I have no idea around any Toltec writings being authentic. And truthfully, I’m not so concerned about that.

    My concern is with providing people with interesting and helpful content that will better their lives and help them increase their business. The truth is, the following the four agreements will make you a better person – and a better businessman. And that’s what’s I’m blogging about.

  9. Celso Jaquez says:


    Please forgive me if I came off as challenging you, or anyone else who has found this book useful and/or inspiring. My comments were intended to draw attention to yet another person of indigenous descent who has elected to use that descent for profit, by falsely exploiting a culture he finds worthy of lining his pockets. The message may be most profound, moving and enlightened, but if one claims to base it on the teachings of a Native American culture, and offer no proof of the validity of the sources for those teaching from which he is profiting, I feel it is well within my rights as a descendant of both Yucatec Maya and Tongva Indians to ask the simple questions, “where do you claim to have derived this knowledge, and how is it that no other scholar has been blessed with this wealth of knowledge?” I am sick of my people’s culture, traditions and lifeways being exploited by those who will manufacture simple “life is simple” philosophies” and attempt to label them as being of ancestral origins. Not having a connection to my ancestors, for you his words come as simply good and helpful to your business model. To me I feel like my ancestors have been abused. Am I making sense to you?

  10. Celso,
    It’s certainly within your rights to care for and defend your heritage. I not only agree, I support you in that.

    And I do feel it’s important to look at what motivates people to do what they do. Money as a motivation I feel is fine…expect money can often cloud sound judgment. And it can be easy to stretch our morality and integrity to make a buck. Not saying it’s good – saying it’s a temptation.

    In my tradition, we have a saying: all actions are judged by their intention. If one intends good, what’s returned to them is good. If one intends bad or trickery or deceit, than that’s what’s returned to them.

  11. Stefan|muscle building program says:

    I read the book several years ago. It’s a wonderful addition to any spiritual library. I have certainly gained much from the teachings in the book. Especially the one on “not assuming”. I work on that one just about every day.


  12. Rich |Finding Windows XP Registry Cleaners says:

    I have not read this book yet, but the post has inspired me to go out and buy a copy
    Life is simple but i think we just tend to over complicate it


  13. Nick - Try Conversational Hypnosis says:


    I suggest you should try out the Conversational Hypnosis course. It is one of the best courses I have found on communication aspects and provides a great deal of practical info on how to be more influential and communicate better.

    – Nick

  14. I really love this book. I was a bit suspicious about it, I´m not much into “flower power philisofy”, but a lot of people recommended it so I gave it a try. It´s definitely not flower power, just common sense 🙂

  15. Cottage Rental says:

    I haven’t read the book. Think I should get one..One bad habit I have got is that i am very sensitive, and I take everything personal…

  16. Ryan Burke says:

    I have found that the Four Agreements tools are powerful. They have brought me to crises and big moments of freedom and I believe that is part of the process. I am by no means there yet. The crises situations have taught me whole new levels of understanding how not to go against myself or others. When the Four Agreements bring me to a pressure point, I find I need only look closer at whats going on and be very honest with myself so I make an aware choice of which way I want to move.

  17. Dawud, I just love this post…simple agreements that means and makes a lot of difference especially in blogging or just any conversation.

  18. Drake - Self Hypnosis says:

    I really enjoyed this post. These Four Agreements should prove to be very beneficial for me. Keep up the good work!


  1. Conversational Blogging - What Is It? Lemme Ask You! | SmartWealthyRich .com says:

    […] Those are just sample questions, feel free to write a mile long reply, and tell us what you think Conversational Blogging is about. And how you do things on your own blog (if you’re a writer), or how you see things as a reader (if you don’t have a blog). I’m really looking forward to reading your comments. Of course, since I’m working on my ebook, I don’t want to give too much away, so feel free to talk and chat with each other It’s all about the conversations! […]

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