I was thinking this morning about what makes a great relationship.
According to James from Audio Mecca, it’s necessary to accept “that the other fellow is not a moron.”
I keep saying again and again that conversation leads to relationship and relationship leads to business. No matter whether we’re talking about clients and customers, referrals and affiliates, partnerships or friends – it all begins with building relationships.
That’s why I find James’ comment so interesting. It’s true! We need to believe that the people we get into conversations with, and ultimately building relationships with, are not idiots. Don’t they have a point? Aren’t their comments, perceptions and ideas important in some way?
If they’re not, why are we in the conversation with them in the first place?
When I think about all of you who have commented on my blog, for instance, I can’t think of any instances when I thought someone was an idiot or a moron. Really, I’m not just saying that. But that doesn’t mean every comment I’ve seen has been a highly intelligent one.
Yet I know that people (read: me) sometimes say things that are off-beat a little bit with how they feel or what they think. I know that sometimes in trying to explain something we can just get way off track and start sounding like an idiot. But does that make us one?
Maybe it does…What do you have to say?
Let’s be honest…do you think the readers of your blog are morons?
How about the people your customers and clients? Why/why not?
When you’re in business, what you’re hoping to do is fill a void for someone, or provide something that they don’t necessarily have expertise in. Of course we can all take time to learn everything, but then we would all be in quadrant 1 of covey’s quadrant!
http://www.brefigroup.co.uk/acrobat/quadrnts.pdf
So I don’t think that people who read any blog is a bit of a moron, in fact quite the opposite, because they’re taking the time to read and hopefully educate themselves.
You might also argue that some people who generate blogs are exhibiting their own form of Moronism, but at least by getting feedback through their comments form even they will become better informed.
let’s all get elevated. get Bloggin!
I couldn’t think of a more destructive practice than to think of my readers as “morons”.
Why there would be bloggers out there that think that way is beyond me – unless that is their intent. Meaning their blog is set up to be a means of abusive content and the readers are subject to the whims of the author if they participate in the conversation.
If we take this into the context of a “real” conversation – when people talk do we really listen or are we just waiting for our turn to talk. And after we talk if our ideas or methodologies are not recognized or agreed with – do we automatically turn off who we were just talking to and label them as a “moron”?
I really can’t remember any comments on any of my blogs that would lead me to think of them as a moron.
Sometimes I have to read their comments a few times to get their point but eventually it usually gets through my thick skull. 🙂
A few spammers tend to get through my filter but then they usually aren’t readers, just spammers.
I’ll admit it, sometimes I get the occasional idiot or I see them on other peoples sites, but I’m not mean enough to call them out on it. LOL
I don’t think so, not that I have a lot of readers. Just that they’re probably more interested or more knowledgeable in something else.
I’m in the tech support business and I get “morons” everyday. But then, they are professionals in other fields. Sometimes I want to pull out all my hair because my customer is such a “moron” but not really. They just don’t know.
I can’t remember where I heard this quote from… “If you call someone an idiot or a moron, it’s because you are one yourself.”
Rob,
I don’t consider my readers morons either. Though I know that I’ve had a moronic moment myself from time to time.
David,
Nor could I. Though I wonder about the natural tendencies many of us have to judge others. Could that lead to subtly thinking of people, and their responses, as morons?
James,
Spammers, now couldn’t we all make a case for spammers being morons?
Jenny,
I wouldn’t either. Though I tend to find very intelligent and interesting people commenting on my blog. You?
Mi,
Interesting perspective – on both counts. Maybe moron is a perspective thing. Thoughts?
Wait–NONE of you guys ever have morons visit your blogs?
I’ve been lucky in that I haven’t had any for a while. And the ones I did have were more like hit-and-run trolls or Asperger types who just didn’t get it.
So if they count, then yes, I’ve had morons read my blog (albeit not particularly carefully).
Of course, the greatest concentration of morons out there are all the people *not* reading my blog. I mean, what’s up with that? 🙂
I used to think the majority of people were morons. Now I realized that they just have a different opinion than mine.
But it is not easy to let go of ones beliefs. Especially when one holds them since a long time. it is a slow learning process.
Olivier.
I think it would be unfair to say that your readers are “moron”, it’s just that they don’t get what you are trying to say. Like they are leaving useless comments or out of the topic comments. I would consider them as “spammers” not “morons”.
Dawud, you have scored again!
It is being non judgmental that enables a dialogue, a word that I prefer to conversation.
I am a great fan of Edward D Bono and he is six hats of thinking. Let me give a summary here which I think will get us to where you would like this topic to lead to:
Under the white hat, everyone is looking for facts, information, what we have, what we need, what questions have we asked, how do we get the information.
Red hat: permission to put forward your emotions, your intuition, without having to justify or explain it.
Black hat is critical: what is wrong, the risks, the downside, why it may not work.
The yellow hat: values, benefits.
The green hat: creative, new ideas, possibilities, alternatives and so on.
The blue hat is the organizing hat: summary, outcome.
Whether it is on a one to one or in a group discussion, ideally speaking this route will enable us to be productive. Unfortunately, if even one of the participants is say, highly opinionated, and refuses to follow the method, we can end up with egg on our collective face. The rest of the group then will indeed be very justified in calling that individual a moron, though in his or her opinion the rest will be!
If we can train ourselves, or, more to the point, train the opinionated person/s whether to blog or to just converse with one another, in this structured manner, we can communicate. That word, is a beautiful one – commune-i-cate. No one ends up being a moron.
Perhaps this also answers David, Mi and Olivier to some extent.
Glancing through the comments above, I agree heartily that we cannot expect customers to be experts in our areas of expertise… typically if that were the case there would be no reason for us to be in business.
What should never be tolerated is abuse from customers/visitors/whomever. That is really the only thing I consider “moronic”.
On the other hand, deflecting an angry customer’s negative energy instead of reflecting it back to them typically leads to level-headed conversations.
communicatrix,
If I knew that to be true, would I admit it? You know me…what do you think?
And I have to agree with your last sentiment – for both of us.
Phil,
But aren’t spammers basically morons?
Olivier,
So true. It takes effort to expand your mind to meet a different perspective on things. Sometimes those perspectives can be enlightening, no?
Home Recording,
I haven’t heard of Edward Bono. Definitely going to check him out.
I love the way you broke down communicate – commune – i – cate. Lovely way to think about it.
Tolerance, or even better, caring gets us so much farther, don’t you think?
“Mi,
Interesting perspective – on both counts. Maybe moron is a perspective thing. Thoughts?”
It is. Two people could probably be thinking that the other is such a moron and they’re not. Or it could be their definition of it. “To each his own” like most people say, I guess.
Mi,
Personally, I don’t feel anyone truly a moron. It’s an unfortunate word that get tossed around. Everyone has their gifts and their quirks and there’s nothing inherently wrong with either.
What do you think?
you said, “But that doesn’t mean every comment I’ve seen has been a highly intelligent one.” I know sometimes I’ve left less than stellar comments on blogs and have been like, “Oh gods, I can’t believe I said that!” But I quietly slink away and hope nobody calls me on it. LOL
I agree with you though – I think “moron” is in the eye of the beholder. 😉
If you are giving a speech, audience interaction (accepting that they aren’t morons, and asking them to contribute to the subject … and recognizing good quality additions) is a great tactic.
This is also a good life tactic – if you accept that other people aren’t idiots, you’ll learn plenty from them. You don’t have to agree with everything they say – but that doesn’t mean they don’t have valid reasons for saying it.